For me, 2024 has been the year that I have spent a great deal of time sleeping or staying in my apartment. Granted, this year has not been easy with my father sustaining a major life injury that has paralyzed his leg that has required visits to a care facility twice a week in addition to what else we do, but there has been more of a challenge to find purpose to get through the days that are more challenging to get through.

Granted, I am grateful for the life that I lead, but it can be hard to find purpose during the “down” times where there is no “scheduled” activity. There is no shortage of things that I could do, it is not that I can find the purpose of wanting to do them and for one reason or another I end up sleeping for an extended period out of the lack of finding interest to do something. It can also be after finding the willingness or interest to do something, if I do not find what I want to do, I become easily frustrated and give up because I do not find something interesting or think that lying in bed will have all my problems go away.

There may be the reality that I may need rest, but oftentimes I sleep too much and getting on a positive and purposeful track to making the day better can be difficult to do. It can be hard to find that one thing that is going to keep me entertained for an extended period. Yes, I do enjoy things like writing daily blog posts or doing things as it relates to content creation, but that only fills a certain part of time. There is always the desire and desire to draft a book about my life story, but I never find the courage to do so.

While there is so much going on in my life, it can seem as if there is no time for me to do things for my own personal entertainment, but there is. There are also things that need to be done, but for one reason or another, I put them off for various reasons because they may seem boring to me, even if they are parts of progressing of what needs to be done. I do know that I need to be better at certain things instead of constantly wanting to not do things for one reason or another.

It is not like it is a struggle to find something, I just must do what I need to do, no matter how hard it is to do it. I know that I will find what I need to do in time and things will get better. I want to end 2024 on a better note than what it has been for the longest time. I deserve my own kind of happiness and that is deserving by everyone who seeks to have it. I too want the same things that many have instead of resorting to the same old, same old and rutting into behaviors that are unhealthy. I deserve happiness and purpose just as much as any other human being does and therefore it is something towards which I must strive.