Within my life, I have learned that there is a power of telling someone the word “No.” I used to believe that it was a way of getting out of something simply because I didn’t want to do something, but no is a universal word and means one thing in life, that something doesn’t want to be done or had and that it is okay to say no as long as you understand and accept the consequences of doing so.

In my life, I was always led to believe that I had to do everything that I was told to do because that was just what was expected. While there was many good intentions and reasons to do some things because they were needed to be done, it had not made saying no to things and standing my ground the easiest thing to do .

This became truer in friendships when I was being pushed and pushed in a very toxic way that never seemed to end. My mother had seen me consistently be a part of something that was mentally tiring myself out and I was unwilling to just say no to it anymore. However, one day in a sudden decision, I realized to stand my ground and say that enough was enough and I needed to just end the back in forth in the unhealthy friendship because it was tearing at my mental health.

The same can be said when it comes to things that people ask of us that we have the freedom to say no to, if there is an inkling that it is going to be too much, then it is going to be perfectly acceptable to say no and hopefully the other party will understand that you just don’t have the ability to do it. Thankfully, I am in many environments where others understand me for who I am and that it is perfectly understood when I say no, that I am genuine in my concern for saying so.

It has not always been easy to say no. There has been a great deal of guilt when saying no to something because it could hurt the other person, making myself feel more self-centered than what I need to be. But, when something is deeply affecting my mental health, then there comes a time when it is necessary to just say no because it is too much for me and doing so makes me feel empowered that I am making a choice that is beneficial along with me setting a boundary against what I want to experience.

In the end, I know that there are times when it is appropriate to say no and when it is not. In a work situation it is not always appropriate to say no, but thankfully there is enough understanding to know when I am up to the task of doing something or not, so it is not too much of an issue.

Having the power of “No” can be a good thing if you know when it is appropriate to use it, and you understand and accept the consequences of when that word is used in an appropriate sense that what can happen. But in many cases, it can be an empowering thing when things become just too much for you.