There are times when I contact a slump of negative energy. All I want to do is think about things that I cannot change or believe in untrue or invalid things about others when that is simply not true. It is like living two beliefs about something because my mind is letting me believe that there is nothing that can be done to remedy what I am feeling. While that may be the case, it can still be hard to get out of the slumps that I am feeling and get back to where I need to be.

There are times when the smallest things can trigger me to a negative slump. Some of them can be when I see a person that has caused a great deal of negative energy in the past and I am unwilling to move forward because of all the negative energy that I was feeling in the past and I can’t seem to just shake it off, even in the current moment when things are much more safer that what they were when I was experiencing that negative energy.

Yes, there is indeed a necessity to put the past behind me and move forward from my feelings and energy of the past, but when I was feeling hurt or there was perceived negative energy due to past circumstances, it can continue to spin, spin and spin some more to the point that it is hard to get back on track to where I need to be mentally.

In a way it can be easy to say not to let those things get to me, but there are parts of me that feel like there needs to be pain inflicted on those that caused the negative energy to be placed onto me, even if they didn’t know that they were the reason behind it. When I do in their eyes, they looked surprised because they didn’t know the situation behind why I am in the slump I am in, and it can be hard for me to move on because it is all I can think of, and the negative energy continues to brew for an extended period.

While I know that I have tools that I am supposed to use to get out of those slumps, it can be hard to do so  because it can be hard to take initiative towards getting out of that slump because there is a part of me that feels that others need to feel bad for me because I am acting childish in nature. However, increasingly, I am eventually working my way through those challenges of negative energy. I just wish that it were easier to get out of it instead of being in that negative mindset for hours on end just because I seen or heard something that was triggering me, believing that someone is feeling my energy when in fact they are not.

I know that things do not come easy, and for me this is one of the biggest struggles that I face. While there are many things that take the edge off what I am feeling, there is still part of me that does not let go of the feelings of what I experienced, and it takes some time to get out of that slump. I know that it is my responsibility to do better, I just wish it were easier to do it instead of continuing to let things brew into the slump that they brew in. I am worthy of good energy, and I know that there are many things that I can do, and this will someday get easier within time if I continue to give myself the grace that I deserve in the process.