In a challenging and complex world, it is a fact that autism is never easy. As easy as life can seem for some autistic folks, the fact of the matter is that it is never easy. For what our neurotypical peers do in the regular life, it takes is sometimes multiple times as hard to do the exact same thing because of the neurotype that we have and what we must face while doing what comes normal for so many.

Growing up, I was often expected to fall into line with the rest of the class for some of my early education, although that was not a reality. Eventually it came to the point that I was a constant distraction to everyone in my path and I realized that I was different. Yet, this was the 1990s and there was nothing that really put an exact pinpoint of what I was. There was a great deal of my elementary school years where I ran the alphabet soup of diagnoses. ADHD, ADD, ODD, you name it. I can not deny that my parents did there best to try to help me. They just listened to the advice that was given to them, and they bought it. Mostly in the form of pills that really did not help what was really going on then.

Eventually, puberty came into play and as it often does with autistic individuals, it wreaks havoc on the mind and then the true self had started to evolve. Thankfully, I was in the right places at the right time and received the thing that was “it.” Asperger’s Syndrome.

Even though I bestowed this diagnosis, and we had a computer in our home to research what “it” was, “it” still was not easy in the day-to-day life. As much as you wanted to tell someone about it, they did not know exactly how to help me manage the challenges of life. It made me constantly feel as if I was something that I was not, and even as I was reluctant to accept, my parents were there for me, even though I was abusive and challenging to them. They never gave up their fight to ensure that I got what I needed, even when systems wanted many other options that my parents were very unwilling to accept. I deserved what others had and the education that I should have been guaranteed to have, as trying as it was, they did what they had to do, often putting my needs before their own.

As puberty subsided and I got into a better educational setting along with having the right balance of medication to assist me in my daily life, things got easier. It did not ever mean that they were perfect, but they were manageable. I just lived through the challenges that I faced and continued to face well into adulthood. Nowadays, I just accept them for what they are. They are just a part of who I am, and I know that autism is not easy, but it is better than giving up, because that is certainly not an option.

Just because it seems from the surface that everything looks good, it does not mean that it is. There is so much that goes on through my mind over the day that makes things difficult, but I do them because that is what has always been expected of me. I never give up on what must be done, even though there are times when I feel like I do not deserve to be handed the hand that has been given to me. But our family has been one to never give up on fighting the challenges that we are facing in life I know that I must continue to be strong and even though I don’t always say it, autism is never easy because you are always running a gamut of wondering if you are doing the right thing because you never know if you are doing something that is wrong or not.

But this is the life that I have been handed and I know that I must do what is right by continue to live the life I have been handed even when it seems impossible. I know that I can never, ever give up no matter what! Autism may never be an easy thing to conquer, but I am doing well at managing life as it is among the many other challenges in life!