This past week has been a whirlwind of activity. There has been so much to digest about my father’s condition and there is a reality that I need to be more of a respectable person. One of the biggest helps in that regard is starting to always striving to be my best self and stop making excuses for behavior that is no longer acceptable for me.

For an extraordinarily long time I have had a disregard for being the person that I have needed to be because I did not believe certain things about myself. However, last week I was faced with a lot of reality and understanding that things are going to change in my life, and I need to be more adamant about making my mental health my priority, every day, always.

This is the same old rhetoric that I have always known, but with the situation that I have been recently handed, there is more of me that needs to be the person that everyone knows that I can be. That responsibility starts with me and no matter what my feelings are about things that I believe should be, the one thing that matters the most is that I am being my best self so I can get through the things that are difficult to manage. It is important that I am taking care of myself in the ways that I need to so I can get through the challenges, no matter what.

I know I can be a surprisingly good person if I open myself up more and be the person that I know I can be. I can let go of all the lost feelings inside of me that I have been holding back and be the person that other people want me to be. I have not always been the person that I have needed to be, and there is a great sense of guilt for acting in a way that other people know I should not be acting.

There is a reality and understanding that when I am doing what I need to do to take care of myself, things go much more smoothly that when I am not taking care of myself. I know I can do better and work at being able to cope with the challenges that I face daily by taking care of myself and doing what has already been proven to work for me. For me it has been a long time out of ignorance or disrespect for what has worked for me out of wanting to continue to not accept that there is a reality that I need to do what I need to do to take care of myself each evening to be my best the next day.

Things like medication and sleep are essential for one’s well-being, especially mine and I have proven that for some time now. However, the temptation arises to return to the old ways but I know deep down that those old ways are unhealthy and I can be able to withstand the challenges that I must face on a continual basis by doing what I need to do to cope with the current situation that I am faced by continuing to work towards being my best self. Others deserve me to take care of myself by being the leading example that I can prove myself to be, and I must continue to do what is right for me and them too by working my darndest at being my best self so I can work on myself more each day.