In a life where I am older than much of the autistic population that has become more aware of the term of self-advocacy, I am working to being a better self-advocate. I know I can be if I let my anxiety guard down and do what I need to do to get my point across appropriately and effectively in the best manner possible.

It is not that I can be a good self-advocate. I can be when I take my time to advocate for what I need to address appropriately and effectively. Sometimes there is more desire to say what is on my mind without considering how I say it. I can say it is too fast or harsh and therefore it is not as effective. Sometimes my anxiety gets in the way of taking the necessary step to take initiative to communicate my need to whom it needs to be relayed. But there are times when I have been proud of myself, when I have had to speak up and get what I needed to do.

One key factor that I have started to notice is the need to be self-aware of things that are too much for me. In the past when I had more freedom to make decisions about things for one reason or another, I felt better communicating my needs to those I trusted. While recently I have been involved with a great deal of people new to me, I feel that they do understand my needs and as of recently they have when I have asked a question or shared that I did not want to do something.

It is not that I wanted to get out of something, it is the fact that there were various plausible reasons why I did not feel that I was ready to do something  or that I needed to have reassurance that something  is or was happening. This required me to utilize my self-advocacy skills to ensure that my point was made known. I knew that it could not deliver what I wanted to hear, but it was a way of starting to assert my way of letting others know or start the process that I needed to have commence that I needed to know or not be involved in.

I know that being a self-advocate is not about being the boss or getting what you want all the time. In fact, there are times when I am going to have to know and understand the consequences when I say no to something and what that totally involves. That is why education is a key factor in being a self-advocate and knowing that self-advocacy is different from entitlement.

In the end, I am going to work at being a better self-advocate by being assertive and not verbally aggressive as the latter will not provide any solution to the points that I want or need to get across to ensure that my needs are met, or my concerns are addressed. I know I can be the self-advocate that I am destined to be with the proper skills and modeling that I have seen repeatedly. I can shine like a diamond and be the person I know I can be!