Recently, I discovered that there are people out there who appreciate me for the person that I am when I am my best. Therefore, I have discovered that it is important not to react to my emotions, instead I need to work at finding healthier emotional outlets instead.

I had known this before; many times, and I have tried my best to make a vow not to react negatively when my emotions get in the way. However, recently there has been a rekindled spirit where I am seeing that I have more of a following in real life and therefore I realize that it is important to take care of myself, so I do not react to my emotions.

If I am one that is to lead by example, then it is important that I show others how to take care of themselves by being my best self. There are times when I think that I can get away from not doing what is best for myself. But then I forget that there are always others that are observing my moves and actions, even when I do not think they are.

There are also colleagues that are getting to know when I am myself. That is what makes them the best at what they do. Me being a part of that makes it part of their equation. So, I know that I need to knock off the games that I play from time to time by not caring for myself to just get some senseless stuff that won’t really matter accomplished when I am not doing what I need to care for myself and just do what I need to do.

It can be hard to realize that there are others to look up to me, not only in real life, but also online. Those online who have been there with me through my relapses are still with me for genuine reasons and those that have stuck it out I have valued more than many others. I am being better at seeing through those online that are scheming another way to get to me and seeing that there are those that connect with me for the right reasons. Therefore, there should be no shame in doing what I need to do to take care of myself just so I can be able to communicate with them, because I know that they will be there for me no matter what.

It has been a long road that I have been on the past six years that I have been living independently. It has been ups and downs and you would think that I would have gathered the fact of needing to care for myself the old ways that I needed to all along, but unfortunately that has in some way been a learning experience along with things not being the right way for a very long time.

I am starting to understand that to do the things that are expected of me it is important to care for myself in the way that is ordered for me, always. No matter what. It will help me not react to my emotions because there will always be someone that will be able to tell when I react negatively to something or someone. I know that I can be my best self and if not take the time to care for myself if needed to do so. I am so worth that I have to offer others, not who I am when I react negatively. I know I can be a better person and put the past behind me.