Recently, I have had some struggles with making the best of my off days. It is one of the downsides of living independently and something that while I am grateful to not have to live to someone else’s schedule, when I am down and out, having my thoughts to myself can come back to bite me quickly.

There have been a lot of times where I have been down and out, where I have slept because of overthinking. There are things in my life that are just out of my hands that are reality and no matter what, I just cannot change them. However, there is a reality that I cannot be down and out about them because it does a disservice not only to others, but to me as well. I become someone that I normally am not and take out my anger on those that I love the most, even though I know I can be a better person, I have a complete disregard for doing so.

Because I have been rough with those that I love, it influences others that I may not even know. It hurts others because I am not the person that they know I can and need to be when I am needed to be. I know I could have been a better person, but I have been beside myself about some of the circumstances that life has thrown at me recently. Through this I have completely taken care of my mental health. That is what one of the hardest things is. No matter how well you take care of yourself, there can still be instances of not being able to be your best self, and when I am, it shows itself in a negative way.

I do get the fact that not every day cannot be perfect, but it has seemed that when it seems that way, I do not even try to make the best of what I can of the day. I have fallen and out because there are harsh realities to face, despite having the faith to believe that things do get better. I am unwilling to see that I need to be a better person and just try to do what is right to get through the day, no matter how hard it can be to do so.

Life is going to have its obstacles. You are going to be dealt hands in the worlds of life that are going to be unpleasant. It is not a time to act entitled or childish in nature, and I have done both of those things recently as if I do not deserve to do things that I do not want to do. It is not a fact of being unable to do them, sometimes, it is the right thing to do because others have done similar things for me, and the feeling of doing what is reciprocal is what is important, because it is a token of gratitude for what has been done for you.

Choosing to embrace the challenges that you have been set ahead of you is not easy. But I now know that I will get nowhere by sitting around and sulking about things that I cannot change. I know that I must choose to make the best of it, just like I do with my extra time, because just sitting around ruminating about it or thinking about what I cannot change is unhealthy and will get me nowhere but in a deep depression.

Today is a new day and I cannot change anything about what I must face, but I can make the best of today. That is the best that I can do for myself because what I have been doing has not been working and is making me a creature that no one wants to be around or needs me to be. I can be a better person if I make myself do it. That is what I must do.