This week, I have learned that the difference between taking care of myself and not taking care of myself can have me regulated like night and day. Therefore, I am continuing to see the importance of caring for myself all the time, no matter how much of a struggle or flawed thought may perspire at any given time.

There has been some time within the past week or so that I have not been able to care for myself in the way that I needed to, and it has shown. I have become more self-aware of the times when I did not care for myself. When I did make the necessary changes to care for myself, the amount of recovery time to get back to where I went off-course took even more time and depleted more of my energy. I am hoping that I can finally see the necessity of caring for myself. Every day. Always.

When I am well and do all that, I need to be well and adhere completely to my necessary regimens, I can be the best that I can be at any given moment. Nothing is perfect, but there could be other factors that can contribute to being slightly dysregulated, but it is in no way like it is when I am off course and not caring for myself. It can be a simple ignorance to an alarm or notice to get off course. While I may initially feel fine, eventually the more dysregulated I become. There can be a host of feelings that come not only from my mood disorder but also from being autistic itself because I am not doing what is necessary for me to stay well, even though there are instances when I know I must.

When looking from a dysregulated day which I end by getting on track, the next day I am more regulated. While there may be some initial mishaps at first, eventually things get better. Sometimes I have not been patient enough with myself or I am not as self-aware as I have been in the past to fully understand the necessity of adhering to all necessary regimens all the time, regardless of what flawed thoughts are developed in my headspace.

Many of these things are simple to do and while there can be the flawed thoughts of feeling frustrated or being childish, but it is doing what adults have to do  and that there are things that I must do to aid in achieving some situations or being able to manage life that is sometimes more challenging than what is expected.

Others have seen times when I have not taken care of myself, therefore I am not fooling anyone anymore. There is a part of me that knows that I must be honest about caring for myself and do the right thing by whatever means are needed to help me overcome the obstacles in the way.

Many things in my life depend on it and now that I can see how much there I an improvement when I do the right thing, hopefully there will be a constant stamina to keep going consistently into full adherence instead of playing the same old games that I am playing, because it is crucial to always be on top of my mental health no matter how hard it is or how much of a bother it is to myself or others, there is no health without mental health.