In life as I venture out of my home to do things,  I have begun to realize that it is important to remember that I need to be the better person and not ruin the vibe of whatever I am involved in. Just because I think things that are often untrue or are no longer valid does not mean that I must keep rehashing them thinking that I am going to be relieved of the pressure that I have been facing for some time.

The reality is that when I react to something that I do not agree with or feel like I need to be the center of attention because I am miserable and want others to feel that way is not helping others that are in the same environment. Even if there are past fragments of the past in my mind for whatever reason, it does not give me the freedom to make my point known just because I am feeling what I am feeling.

I know that in all merits that I need to let go of what was and that has been a process that has been quite well. However, there are instances where the past wants to appear in my mind and wants to call out things that are no longer true and valid. I must understand that there are appropriate and healthy ways to exert that energy. Making that point known by reacting negatively to what I am feeling is going to get me nowhere and as much as I think I can change what is happening now, I must understand that the past cannot be relived because it simply is no longer feasible.

There also needs to be the understanding that as much as I gripe about going into the way things were, they were not healthy and had their own host of problems that as much as I want to believe will be the solution to my scripting or echolalia that I experience about the same thing, the reality is that it just doesn’t work and that the way things are now  are so much better. As hard as change can be for me, as easy as it has been to physically make the change, it is still difficult to absolve of the thoughts mentally.

However, that does not mean that I have the right to take out my frustration on what I want to believe is the basis of the scripting or echolalia that I am experiencing. It is not going to solve anything or bring change. It is just going to make me look as if I cannot conduct myself in a meaningful way. I have proven so many that I can be a responsible adult and as much as I can think of reasons to think in a negative state, it is just not proper to bring that sort of energy into the environment that I am, especially when there is a desire to enjoy the time that is being had.

Part of being at peace with what I have been in the process of starting to let go of the past because it is no longer healthy to harbor those thoughts. It is also not healthy to be negative or produce energy to bring others in an unnecessary misery, especially when the focus is to be in a positive mindset, I know I can show the maturity that others around me have known me to have and be able to employ the necessary defense mechanisms and coping strategies. I know that I can be the better person if I want to be so others will respect me more for what I can bring to the life of the party instead of being the pessimistic person that I can sometimes be.