One statement I have often heard a dear professional of mine say is that “empowerment does not equal entitlement.” Oftentimes as autistic human beings when we feel empowered to express how we feel about something we often think it makes us entitled to get what we think we or others deserve to have. I have finally realized what that statement means and that I need to stop having such a mindset.

When there is a feeling to be empowered about addressing something that we feel emotionally connected to thinking that there is going to be a solution to what we feel is a problem or should be the way that we think it is, we often come across as being entitled to having what we want. Then it can be hard to accept when our request is denied, and this is what can ignite negative feeling within us.

In life there must be a reality that we cannot have everything we want, nor can it go the way we want it to make us feel comfortable. Nor should we feel empowered to make others feel bad for the way that we think things should be. There are things in life that just must be. That is called adulting.

Indeed, if there is a point where something seems too intolerable for you, then do what is necessary. However, if there are things that can be managed while they are going on or can be worked out, then do it as it able to be done. There are some things that must be done and as hard as it can be for autistic individuals to endure things that seem uncomfortable to them, it is important to at least try something out first before squashing it completely from what is being offered.

If you are given options and you believe that you can tolerate them, do them first before abandoning the options altogether. Just because something may feel uncomfortable at first or there is pre-event anxiety does not mean you cannot do it. It is important to fight through the anxiety that you are experiencing by coping with it adequately in the means that you know how to deal with it.

However, just because something is not the way that you like it does not mean that you should feel empowered to complain about what you are experiencing. Even though you are empowered to speak up, it is always important to temper yourself properly so that you or others do not have a negative reaction to what  you have experienced. It is also important to not express what you are feeling suddenly, rather sleep on it, and think about the how and when to speak up about what is on your mind. Overall, it is Important to keep in mind that just because you are empowered does not mean that you are entitled to getting what you want. You may not know all the circumstances behind something, but having your voice heard is the most important factor in making your way advocating for what you need.