In the past year or so since I had my first relapse, one of the biggest takeaways that I have learned is that I just need to say what is wrong with me and what I need to have taken care of. Although there is a great deal of regret in what I did last year, in the end, the problems could have been solved faster if I were honest about what I did and what I needed to have to be well.

The way that I was like this dark secret that was hidden from so many people. In the end when I do not do what I need to do, it eventually kicks itself up in the rear in a negative way. While I do regret what I did was wrong the last few times, I have learned that it is just easier to be open and honest about what I need or the struggle that I am facing or the issues that I am having.

While it can be a struggle to communicate because of fear of facing a negative reaction or other backlash, I eventually learned that I had to be honest with what was wrong with me to get the help that I needed. There are so many people in the position to help you in this world and while sometimes getting what is needed can indeed be a struggle, in my instances, often what I ask for are simple requests or things that I really can not solve on my own even though I think I am smarter and know my own needs.

I must learn that it is easier to communicate what is on my mind or what I am fearing in the most open and honest way possible otherwise I will enmesh myself in excessive worry, fear, and guilt about whether I am doing something correctly. Even if I am doing something the right way, it may not be the best way to get something done and I will not know if I am doing something the way that I should be if I am not being honest about what I am experiencing.

It is knowing that I have developed a great support system and have a rapport with those in authority that I can be open and honest when I am struggling or when something is bothering me. Even if it does not seem right, I need to just be open and honest about my struggles instead of hiding them because things will never get better if I do not address my fears or what I am keeping from others head on.

While it can seem scary to be open and honest about the struggles that are being faced, if you know that you can communicate openly with someone that you trust about the situation that you are faced with, then it should be no issue for you. When you do, you will feel a sense of relief that what has been hidden for so long because you have been afraid to speak honestly about the issues that you are facing are like a deep dark secret that no one knows about and once that the issue is addressed, there will be a much greater sense of relief that will be felt because it is something that is pressuring you so much.

In the end you need to do what is right or what is eating you will only continue to get worse, and things could be bad for you as they have been for me in the past.