For most of my life, I was always focused on seeing what was wrong with me instead of seeing the quality of life I do have and how far I have evolved in life. It can be hard to imagine sometimes how far I have evolved over the years into the man that I am today and the qualities that I bring to the table anywhere I go.

Growing up, there was always an emphasis on what deficits I was experiencing. There were many things that were not good in my life growing up even though I had some of the best parents who always wanted to make sure that my needs were met. It even evolved into my siblings making sure that I was safe and well cared for. However, always knowing that I was different, there was always such an emphasis on working on what was wrong with me and my parents, while being loving int their own way, were always quick to point out the deficits in my life.

But more as I am living my own life, I am learning how good my life really is and the qualities that I possess. It can be hard to believe that I have been working for 15 years and even evolved so much in that arena and the qualities that I bring to the team that I am on. I know that I can be a true asset with the qualities that I bring to the table wherever I may be. That is the redeeming quality for the many times I have struggled with my mental wellness and other things recently that have always been why I have been retained, even during the COVID-19 pandemic.

There are still many things that I hear from time to time that can be quite a shock to me. Like being a great communicator or being able to know so many things that can help others. It has often been hard to see the good when my brain has been long enmeshed in finding the negatives in a situation. It is even more believable when in my daily posts that I share on Facebook and Instagram when those that reply have so much good advice about the strength and qualities that I possess when I am doing things to better myself.

I admit that it takes a lot to do what I need to do every day, but I fight it and do what is necessary and I try to do it well. Learning more of what is good can be helpful when it comes to keeping the spirit alive within me to keep on keeping on when the times are tough. It takes retraining my brain to see things in a different light and see how truly blessed I am and not continue to see the deficits that are faced, while miniscule in nature, they still poke through the good in life. I know that I am stronger than my thoughts are, and I need to fight through them, no matter what.

I know that I need to continue to see more of the good qualities that I have and not dwell so much on the negative in order to have the best life that I can have  for not only myself, but those around me that have I have been expressing my frustrations to, as they do not deserve it either. Life has been good for me so far and I need to keep the spirit up!