As time has passed in the journey of living independently, I am starting to discover that I need to start to feel comfortable in communicating my needs to others so that they are at least able to be explored to be met to some extent. Throughout the years, it has been hard to communicate my needs to others out of the fear of being retaliated or harassed, but there are so many people who I now know through tough love that  would not do that in any way.

As great of a communicator as I have told I can be, it can be hard to communicate what I need when there is a fear of having what I need be rejected or not agreed to. This can be with those that have seen the worst in me or that I can talk about the most intricate details of my life, but when my anxiety comes into play, there is this part of me that I feel that those I will communicate my need with will react negatively towards me, even though they have known me for a very long time.

I do have to say that as much as there have been those that have had their concerns for my well-being over the years,  I am starting to build more of a trust with them. It has not been easy, but I am starting to learn that I will never feel comfortable with myself if I do not learn to communicate my needs with them. This can be something as simple as stopping to get a drink or having other needs met because they too are needed.

I know that I can be honest and sincere with those that I need to communicate with and even those that I think I cannot communicate with even have my best interest at heart, even if I am unwilling to see it. I just need to learn to communicate and be polite and dignified when I am communicating my needs with them. There is still the possibility that my needs may not be met, or they will tell me the answer that I do not want to hear because I might need to hear the hard truth from them. In fact, which may have been the times that it may have saved my life from being totally more unwell than where I would want to be.

I know I can articulate my needs, but oftentimes my anxiety comes into play preventing me from speaking up my needs or concerns. I do know that there are times when things cannot be addressed or met, but if I learn to use my words in the appropriate way and not react to what others say or that I do not get the answer that I do not want to hear that it is important to be calm and accept the answer that I am given with pride and dignity and work on my emotional intelligence after.

In the end, I have gotten better at communicating my needs, but it is going to take time to get better at communicating my needs after years of constantly living in fear of being judged for speaking my mind. I know how to communicate quite well; I just must put my words to action in the correct way and be free of judgment and fear.