Its hard to believe that for once I am happy with the things in my life. It has taken a long time to get to this point in my life because I have had to work to manage my feelings, let go of the past and start to accept things for what they are, and they are not as bad as they seem to be. It is looking at life how you want to see it and understanding amid the struggles, it is important to live life as you need to.

For the last few years, I have complained about everything because I have lived in a vicious cycle of negativity. After being in a toxic environment for a very long time and then recently realizing that while it has been gone for some time, I needed to let the thoughts of it go from my life as it was unhealthy for me to keep those thoughts and be willing to see life as it is today in a much better way than it ever has been.

Through much misunderstanding how things are really supposed to be and realizing that I too need to work on myself and see what my life today looks like instead of living in the past and constantly thinking that it is going to come back or should be that way, instead I am realizing that things are much better the way that they are now and I can focus on things that make me more happy instead of sticking with looping thoughts about the past and start to live the life that I actually live and start to be happy for once.

I honestly do not know what a constant state of happiness looks like without always thinking in a negative mindset. That can be hard to believe as I share on my daily social media posts something inspiring. It is just being strong and resilient amid the struggle. But beneath the surface when I am left to my own thoughts, the thoughts that were so hard about the past would arise when in fact nothing is wrong with what is going on. But being free to not be held figuratively captive by the thoughts that I am thinking has made me realize that I can start to relax and not worry so much or think about the past that has held me back for so long.

 I know that my mental health is in the best place that it has been for an exceptionally long time. That is because I am caring for it more than I need to and not ignoring things like medication reminders. I am also doing more natural things like working on developing a Wellness Recovery Action plan to ensure that instances like the past do not happen again along with keeping a journal and many other things.

Finally, at last I am free from my thoughts and can start to live the life that I deserve and be the person that I want to be. I deserve to be happy. I am still working to find what makes me happy by knowing what I like versus what I do not like in life and that is OK. One thing I know for sure is that I cannot turn back time nor do I want to. The pain and misery of the past is over, and I can start to live the life I deserve. I can be happy with the life I live.