There are times when my thoughts want me to think fewer desirable things about myself. It does not happen as often as it has in the past, but through it all, I know that it is important to always be stronger than what those thoughts perceive how things should be.

As many autistic minds do, it overthinks, especially about things that are not as bad as they are made out to be. It can be hard to understand sometimes, and it can be hard to get out of those thoughtless, ruminative thoughts that just never seem to end. However, I am starting to realize that it is important to get out to the point where I am feeling sorry about the thoughts, the inability to change things or that I am feeling the way that I am feeling and just start to move on. It is one of the hardest things to do, but when I do it, I feel so much better.

As autistic human beings, we often think differently than the neurotypical mind and as such thinking in such a negative way can be quite cumbersome and hard to do what life expects of us, because we often feel as if we cannot do what we need to do to survive when the brain is telling the body such negative rhetoric, coupled with anxiety that keeps us from doing what is needed to be done because we are trumped with the thought of sulking in thoughts of things that cannot be changed for whatever reason.

Last week, I have started to let go of some of the major things that I can’t change and starting to see that the changes, while sightly challenging, can be for the better, even if my thoughts were stuck on the way things were, and I believed for a long time that they should have been the way they were. However, I now see that there are far too many benefits than sticking to the old way and going back to that way in no way would be helpful in any way.

Sometimes, those thoughts appear to me, but I just now ignore them. I know that they will only hurt me and not be useful in any way. I know that I must work on being better with my thoughts and keeping engaged. This does not work for everyone, but many times, it works for me, even if I do not want to believe it. I know I am stronger than thinking about the way that things were and the hassles that came with the way that they were.

It is knowing that I am such a better person because I am not fighting those battles anymore and there have been many changes in the past year. They all have been quite beneficial to me, even though my brain wants to perceive thoughts of the past, they just don’t matter anymore because things are so much better, even if they are different, I must be willing to accept the changes and move forward with them because that is the only way that I will get out of thinking about thoughts that I cannot change.

I know that I am stronger than what my thoughts perceive because I keep doing what I need to do to survive in this world even if there are thoughts that want me to believe that past situations were only better because I was led to believe that they were without seeing the whole story and realizing that I am living the best life that I am living in this world.