As a neurodivergent human being, I am starting to be satisfied with the way things are. Are they 100% perfect, no. But they are a part of what I must do to live independently and have the things that I want in life. Plus, there is the reality that I am still in the process of finding ways to allow my mental health to be part of the calming process and learn how to be authentically who I am. It can be hard, but I know that I am in a good place right now.

For some time prior to this week, I have been holding some harsh thoughts that have been stuck in my head. They are still there from time to time, but I am choosing to no longer let them be a part of my life and who I am. I realize that if I get away from what I know that I have scheduled to do, it will become harder to get back into the process after any amount of time away and it will accelerate the negative thoughts by making them more apparent.

The reality of life is that despite everything going on, I do have a good life. My brain oftentimes wants to think about having things the way that they were. But it takes realizing that those thoughts and processes were unhealthy for me to undergo and even though I do not see it now, some of the decisions that were made that got us to where life is today are some of the best decisions that were made.

It is important to let go of all the hateful feelings that I am holding and while it has not occurred overnight at this point, it will get better if I allow myself to see that things are better than what they were and not as bad as they seem or could be. It can be hard for the brain to stop thinking all those ruminating thoughts that have been in my brain forever and start working on accepting what I have in my life for what it is and start to learn to be satisfied with what is.

Not having those thoughts creates somewhat of an empty space to think about what needs to be in the place of those thoughts and it can lead to me being puzzled about what to do in the times that I am alone. It can be hard to get started to write content or think about what or how to share because for once in a very long time my world is calm for what it is despite everything that can be a struggle, especially with a lot of uncertainty that I could allow to enter my life. But I know that things in my life are taken care of, and I must respect things for what they are now.

There is room for thinking about so many things, but it can be hard to pinpoint a place to start. It is important to always keep my mental health in check and realize that there are obligations that I must meet in order to keep living independently and do the things that I want to do and as easy as it can be to want to not care about the obligations in life, in reality they are not as bad as my brain makes them out to be. They are what they are, and I must be willing to accept them for what they are while continuing to take care of me in the times when it is not necessary to be engaged in what I must do.

In the end, it is important to remember that life is not as bad as my brain wants to make it and as much as my anxiety wants me to stay away from things, it is important to remember how fortunate things are along with the contributions I can make to society as part of earning a living and keeping my brain engaged. But it is learning to let go of the past and start to be satisfied with the way things are.