In a world where there is a plethora of unwritten rules. As an autistic person, it can be hard to determine when and where we share certain types of information. Autistic people are often known to overshare personal information because of not understanding what and where information is to be shared. However, with the proper education and lived experience, this deficit can too be overcome.

First, it is important to remember that no two autistic individuals are alike. While there are many who will not want to speak, there are many who will just want to connect with others. This can be done in various methods, but most of all is the importance of understanding that it is not always necessary to share too much information. Sometimes just the minimum will be good enough for getting what is needed in a situation.

Growing up, asking for things was a struggle. In my school age years, I struggled with asking for the simplest of things, such as needing to use the restroom out of fear of being denied or being questioned about the privilege of being able to do so. Additionally, having the fear of public restrooms back then, even in school, did not help the situation until it was obvious that I needed to be prompted to use the restroom out of pure fear.

After then, once I had established a rapport with someone, you could not get me to be quiet. It was also hard to understand, mostly in educational settings, what was appropriate to talk about and because I had been with many of the same peers for many years, we knew how to instigate each other, and many times inappropriate things would come up. Around this time, this kind of behavior would be transferred into my life and continued as of recent when I was not taking care of my mental health.

As is in many autistic people, some of the strangest topics of inappropriate things to share as topics to engage in conversation. I eventually learned that there are not to be shared with others and some things are just too much to know about others or myself. It can be hard to build that trust or understanding back, but it is slowly getting better every day. It takes time to understand what is appropriate and what is not to be shared and that there are 100% off limits topics from discussing no matter what.

It is not all about all the things that are quirky or inappropriate that are going to get you the wanted connections, friends, neighbors, or attention that you desire. It is always best to stick to common topics when engaging with others then get to a certain level of deepness but realize that there is privacy about yourself that is just that. Additionally, there are things that should never be shared and could offend or disgust other people, so only speak as you would expect others to speak to you about things just like anyone else you would meet.

It may be complex for someone that is autistic to understand social nuances, but as time evolves, they will get the jest of how dialogue is to manage everyday life. Decades ago, I could not even pick up the phone and “cold call” someone, now that is very much an impressive part of my job. Am I always the best at it? Not always, but I strive to do my best at it.

If you would run into me at random, it would be hard to tell that I am autistic because I have done quite well at the necessary skills to articulate in the way that is perceived to be best by neurotypical individuals. Things will flourish in your own kind of way and no matter how it evolves; you are just perfectly fine at the way things are.