It is hard to believe that for the first time in several years that I have taken a month’s supply of medication exactly as prescribed. This is a big feat for me as I have long struggled to do so due to a previous estrangement with a particular psychotropic medication that has been proven to work, it just took this long for me to realize that it was just as necessary as all the other medications that I am prescribed.

Over 13 months ago, I made a very uneducated decision to withdraw two doses of my medication on my own. 11 months ago, it resulted in a manic episode that took a lot to recover from. After getting understanding with the one dose of medication that I had previously withdrew from, I was still in the estranged relationship with the one that I had always been in, and I was still not adhering to my medication completely.

A few months ago, I again made a drastic decision to completely ignore the need to withdraw from the medication that I had an estrangement with. As was the case with my last drastic decision, I was beginning to decompensate, but not as bad. It took me to listen to someone that I valued very dearly of the necessity to get back on track, although at first, I did not believe that I needed the full dose. A few days later, it became apparent that I needed the full dose and began the course of restarting my medication just as it was always prescribed.

As I eased back to full adherence to my medication regimen, eventually the last cycle came due and I made it my goal to be totally medication adherent for the whole cycle to prove that I could do it no matter what the past thoughts were, my medication has been proven to work and no matter what myth I wanted to believe, they just weren’t true. Over the past month, I began to realize that along with who I really am and who I was not, which also provided me with the closure that I needed. It also felt good as it does presently to have my old self back, the person that I have not been throughout my time of living independently.

As I have completed my first month of being adherent to my prescription cycle, I have accepted and realized that my medication is a help and not intended to hurt me. It is deciphering what side effects affect me and how to manage my life around them and not let them get to me by being initiative-taking. It has also been expressing much gratitude for the independent living program through my pharmacy and the app Medisafe that helps me track that a dose has been administered and not ignoring the alarms as has been past practice.

It is putting the past unhealthy practices of not being able to adhere to my medication behind me and realizing the importance of taking all my medication as prescribed. Life has been so much better for me the past months as a result of having a better relationship with all of my medications and the quality of life that they provide me along with understanding that not all of the side effects affect me specifically, nor I am I and less because I need to take my medication to ensure that I remain as well as I need to be to enjoy life.