Over the past few months with my father being in and out of multiple facilities due to his injury, I am starting to discover the need to  work towards being more patient and able to properly regulate myself when I must remain contained in a space when visiting my father. It is something that I have gotten better at and is a proud win.

When an autistic person is to be in an unfamiliar environment and they are left to their own devices to find ways to keep engaged, I know firsthand how difficult that can be to do. Over the several weeks before we had secured placement for my father in the veterans’ rehabilitation, with a combination of not taking my psychotropic medication, it was difficult for me to find something to focus on other than finding a way to escape the space that I was in and keep entertained on something. It was a hard task for me to do.

Personally, I feel that I can manage life without headphones, although that may not be the case for everyone. I do always have my smartphone and that alone has been helpful. For any autistic person that has one, I highly suggest having an unlimited data plan. I pay more than the average single person with phone service presently, but it is my literal lifeline when it comes to needing to regulate outside of my home without the pesky fear of overages.

But in the moment in which I must be contained to a small space, I am starting to find things other than social media to keep me occupied as it can be hard to focus as things in a room can be challenging to manage. Presently, I had found reading e-books on my phone’s Kindle reader very entertaining. I do enjoy reading via my phone because I can zoom the text to the point where what I am reading is very digestible and understandable.

It has taken me until last year to understand the fact that it is okay to take advantage of the features that I need because of my challenges. For many years, I had felt guilty about the need to do things, even if others did not see me use them. But, as I am starting to live life authentically, I am realizing that there is no shame in doing what is necessary for you to enjoy what you are doing and not have to just live as the typical person.

In the end, I am starting to understand that it is perfectly acceptable to do what is needed for me to be regulated. It may seem abnormal to some, but I do not have to care what others think about what I am doing because it is helping me, others do not have to live in my brain or experience life in the way that I must. It is being acceptable with life as it is but learning that it is perfectly acceptable to get the help that I need to be successful in the life I live.