So much of the ruminating, irrational and catastrophic thoughts in my headspace are of past instances when things went wrong. For far too long, my brain has been holding on to them for some time even though many of them are not valid or they do not even have anything to do with me. I am learning that it is time to let them go, they have no use to me anymore.

The thoughts have always been in my head, and they are what I base many of my reasoning behind doing or not doing things. I think that because something happened that I could not control or by it not being valid and by continuing to believe that things would be better if they stayed the same, even though that is very much not the case, I wholeheartedly believe that it is the reason that I dislike going somewhere.

While the thoughts form into echolalia that can be quite irritating and be the catalyst of bringing down my day just because my brain wants to believe the thoughts are going to repeat in the real situation, that is completely not true. I have been working extra hard towards making progress in caring for my mental health.

Part of that is moving past all the things that has happened because they are no longer valid and the issues that my brain wants me to believe I have started to find coping solutions to manage things in a better way to not take out what my frustrations or invalid thoughts out negatively that could be further consequential.

 It has been hard to let go of the frustrations that I have experienced over the past few years. However, much of what I think about no longer exists or has changed for the better compared to past practices. Because something should have been a certain way, or my brain wants to make a situation easier for me is not always possible. I have adapted quite well to what has been and even though my brain wants me to think that is bad or think of how things were, I would adapt to other elements where there was not a richly involved history.

Part of letting the past go is this piece that wants me to use it as a chip on my shoulder when something else goes wrong or is different from it used to be that if it were the old way, it would be easier for me. But the reality is even though it can be hard to see that things are better in the here and now,  my brain wants to hold on to the old unhealthy baggage that has no value whatsoever when I was not my best and I know that I must continue to be valuable in the once negative situation just as I would in any other  situation.