Oftentimes when I am out in public, it is easy to make assumptions about someone without knowing the full story. For the longest time, I was one of those people who often passed judgment without knowing the full story behind the why and how a person was wearing something. I was acting more like the fashion police without understanding that the person may have issues wearing things because they have challenges doing so.

Nowadays more that is who I am becoming because I am learning to be more authentic with myself and not living in fear of being judged for the clothes I wear. Granted there are times when certain situations dictate what the clothing choice must be, however for all my life, I had to remain in the same clothes from the time I woke up until I turned in for the night.

There have been times that I had to call off work because I did not have things that I needed to feel comfortable, like a belt for example. It was questioned by a coworker when I often called off when I started working over a decade ago. My common go-to when leaving the house and going out in public is mostly jeans. The more the pockets, the better. Knowing where things that I need to have such as bus fare, keys, my wallet and so on allows me to feel confident when leaving the house and puts my anxiety at ease without excessive worry.

It has taken a lot of time for me to even feel comfortable in my own home wearing what I choose to wear because my anxiety often made me feel overly conscious about  how I looked or felt. Recently, I have acknowledged the fact that I need to wear clothing that is loose fitting and covers body parts that should not be shown in public as the way my body is designed often makes it necessary to by larger sizes that are more costly than standard sizes.

I can increasingly sense more when I feel uncomfortable in something that is too snug or rises exposing body parts that I know are not appropriate for others to see. For far too long I have had to be corrected about the way that my clothes were on me. Eventually, I have gotten tired of being prompted to have clothing that covers everything that should not be exposed to others.

It is also important to mention that while many with sensory challenges are extremely sensitive to denim, it is often my go-to fabric of choice outside of my home. It has only been a few weeks since I felt comfortable wearing different clothing at home when I do not have to leave. This was because of my rigidity to adhere to what I had to wear without feeling safe and confident, not allowing myself to be judged based upon my looks as I was often judging others for the way that they looked for not completely understanding their whole situation. Realizing that there is most likely a reason for what they are wearing and recognizing that there is no reason to pass judgement about their choice of clothing.

Even at this point in my life I am learning that I can ease into allowing myself to feel confident about the clothes I wear without living in fear about what others think about what I am wearing as long as I am dressed appropriately for the situation that allows for the type of attire to be worn, then I have no one to answer to other than myself for the way I dress, especially if it helps me stay regulated and focused on things other than the clothing. It is part of learning to love myself authentically.