This is one of the best pictures of my desk at the last office location.

But my last day there on this day 10 months ago was nothing but joyous.

I was in a full blown manic episode after making the unguided decision to withdraw from medications over 2 months earlier.

I had to miss 42 days of work and start working at our current office location

Yet, I was still reluctant to understand the dangers of not adhering to my medication regimen.

Over a month ago I had again made another choice and three weeks ago, it had became apparent that it wasn’t working either.

Eventually, I “got” it.

Just like anything I have done.

Like how I have to limit sugary beverages like sweet tea and caffeine which I have stopped last year.

I have never gone back to consuming those things and I am certain that being medication adherent will be another one of those things is just as important for my condition like elimination of sugary beverages and caffeine.

I know that I can do it as I have done nearly the twenty years before falling astray.

Most importantly it’s important for me to be kind to myself and give myself grace while understanding that’s never a path that I ever want to go down again.