As I am getting back to some sort of normalcy as far as developing a personal routine and working on things to keep me well along with ensuring that I maintain my personal independence, I have realized that skills don’t come into play in the autistic brain until the brain receives the necessity that it can help make the life better for the individual themselves.

One of the biggest and earliest obstacles that those that care for an autistic loved one is being toilet trained. I picked up the skill of toilet training in preschool at the age of four. My mother would send a backpack with diapers each day. One day when I came home, they were still in the backpack. My mother then questioned, and in fact I did ask to use the toilet and they indeed provided the training as it was a Child Alert Class geared for special needs.

Other things later evolved as time came on. However, until lately some struggles still existed when I was on my own including waking up on my own, personal hygiene, cleaning, cooking and full medication adherence.

As I moved out on my own at first, these were all struggles and for that I had paid dearly for not  taking interest in acquiring these skills. As the years of my independence evolved, it was a “live and learn” sort of thing, then eventually something in the brain “clicked” of the benefits of doing things, just likes seeing the benefits of some things like toileting and living independently.

Most of the skills did not come into play until I had my second and current apartment. There were too many other things going on when I was living in the first apartment to understand the skills that I needed to. That first apartment had many negative challenges on a personal level that often reminds me of what I had needed to work on. It was not a conducive environment for me to experience my true independence and as such I was relieved to close that door for good.

As I was grateful for getting the apartment I had a few months later, I first addressed the skills I knew that I could easily pick up on through day services such as  cooking and cleaning and eventually they  “clicked.” Recently, other desires to do things such as transferring the skills of housekeeping, personal hygiene and lastly medication adherence along with caring for my mental health have been established.

As I am nearing the end of the fourth decade of my life, I personally know that for the loved ones of autistic individuals it can be challenging when skills are not acquired or transferred, but when they are and you can breathe a little easier, be grateful and never say never. Just like things that have eventually “clicked” in my brain, they will in your loved one too!