Today’s Date, June 10^th is something that deeply will resonate with me for some time. One year ago, I started down the dangerous path of not adhering to my medication regimen. Nearly two and a half months later I fell into a manic episode at work. By the end of the day, I finally was honest about the little secret that I had been keeping to myself. However, it would nearly be until a few weeks ago about the need to adhere to my medication regimen and be honest with those that I can trust to help me.

Since my relapse last year, it took me to first understand how those that genuinely care for me want to help me. Part of that is knowing when something isn’t right about me, they notice and honestly care about me. Hence, keeping secrets and lying about things when I know that I expected to be doing what is necessary to be well will not help me in the end. After attempting to act in such a manner several times during nearly six years has never been beneficial to me in any way. After doing everything that I believed that I would think make my life better wasn’t and as I continued to stray away from doing what I knew I needed to do, others noticed behaviors about me.

As time has passed in the last few weeks, the signs started coming to me. It might have been the course of divine intervention that had made me realize that I needed to turn in the right  direction towards at least getting back on track. I then began to do the research and see that what I was experiencing was in line with what I was doing, and it made me understand that I needed to work towards getting back on track in some way so that I could become more stable and able to do the things that I needed to do.

The past six years has been a journey of self-discovery, experiencing all kinds of things, good and bad, however by being able to relate the things that were unhealthy or inappropriate were related to me not doing what is necessary for me to be well. I have now realized, understood and was able to relate that no matter what it is important to always adhere to the orders that you are given to by your medical professionals and be honest when you do struggle and need help. It can be challenging, especially if there is fear about being judged, retaliated, or embarrassed for what you have done. The people who want to help you really care about you and want to help you be the best person that will make you feel better and start to get on the right path.

Getting back on track is certainly not a race and it will take time to get back to where you left off. But one thing that matters the most is that you make it through the day, no matter what, and make yourself your priority by doing what you need to do to get back to your old self. Be kind and patient with yourself. You are going to make mistakes. Just keep trying to do what you know is right and never, ever, give up on what you need to do

Know that there is never any shame in asking for help because out there is someone that will guide you in the right direction to get you towards something that will make what you are experiencing easier to manage.