For the longest time as an autistic adult, I have been working to find things that keep me engaged and entertained rather than letting my brain emulsify into thoughts that are detrimental and destructive. I know that I need to work better at finding what causes me to find entertainment and pleasure in my life that I can show interest in rather than just finding things to just fill the void.

It can be the main culprit of why I am always fighting the intrusive, detrimental, ruminating thoughts in my headspace. Indeed I do have things that I can find enjoyable and once I get moving they can be quite fulfilling but they can also have many loose ends because I get distracted from them, then they sit waiting for further completion, but many times because my mind can get so scrambled it can be hard to get back to those projects, even if they brought purpose and fulfillment to me.

Deep down, I know that it is essential to my mental well-being that I keep engaged and entertained. I had doubts about that for a long time but after seeing my father the past week contained to a hospital bed only stuck to his thoughts and realizing that indeed it is a family trait, I must do more on my behalf to work on not only taking care of my mental health in the ways that I do now, but also I must work more at keeping engaged with things that I know keep me engaged and entertained.

There are points where interest in doing things can be lost and while there can be many factors to cause this, it is important to take action as soon as possible to avoid things getting as detrimental as they have been at times This is especially key when my daily routine can be disrupted because of actions out of my control, scheduled holidays or similar activities that disrupt life from the routine that I am used to and thrive on.

It can be hard to work on new interests because there is a degree of uncertainty as to whether I will find interest in them and keep them as an interest or thing to keep me engaged or entertained. There is indeed a point that I have not actually taken the initiative that I have needed to work on this on my own part, but seeing my father in the way that I have in the past week has made me realize that even though the way the thoughts appear in the headspace are indeed a family trait, they are less likely to appear if there is more work to keep engaged and entertained with things because I can see how not doing so will only make things worse than what they need to be.

It is my responsibility to get back to finding what works for me to help me find the purpose of keeping engaged and entertained instead of letting the negative thoughts entertaining my headspace thus causing detrimental and damaging effects that are in no way helpful.