There are times in my life where I can struggle to find the hope and purpose of keeping on with my life. Even though I know that there are many things that can give me hope and purpose to keep going, they are often interrupted with irrational and untrue thoughts that can be very hard to fight and redirect from at their darkest moments, even though I know that there are many reasons to remain hopeful and optimistic about my life, find the drive and purpose that I need to have in my life is what I need to have to be hopeful to keep going when the going gets tough.

I do admit that there are many times when I do prolong things more than what is needed. One of the most detrimental things is the doom scrolling on my electronic devices, while it can be entertaining, it can be hard to refocus my energy to where it needs to be, and things get ignored to the point where things can get out of hand. There can be a reality when things are ignored, and it is obvious that I am not caring for things in the way that they need to be cared for.

It is never the fact that I would do the worst of the worst because I do realize how bad things could be if I would go to places like the psychiatric unit for example, where I realize that even though I am struggling mainly with my thoughts, it is nowhere near the need for the point to have to be placed in such a level of care. Indeed, I know that I would not meet the criteria to be admitted involuntarily and even though I would choose to go on my own, I know that it would be worse than what I know is better for me in the present moment.

While I do know that it is important to be more focused on doing what is necessary to improve my mental health by focusing on redirecting those negative and challenging thoughts when they are in no way helpful to me, doing so can be one of the hardest things to do because there is a struggle in refocusing my thoughts to things that are much better for me than what I am thinking that is not helpful for me and is more detrimental for my mental health, thus causing the cycle to repeat itself over and over again.

There is so much that I can do with my life, it is just when the thought wheel gets turning and gets spinning out of control, it can be hard to stop it from rolling into the point when it can be hard to regroup and do what needs to be done, even if what needs to be done is challenging, it is key to do what is needed to make the experience more enjoyable for me so I do not retract myself from doing it and end up back where I started. I know that I have so much to be grateful and hopeful for, it is always important to remember how hard life once was for me, that things are so much better than what they really could be and how fortunate I really am.