For an extraordinarily long time I have experienced negative thoughts that can be very detrimental to my well-being and can cause me to become very distracted from what I need to do to be well. These thoughts can be very intrusive to the point that suicidal ideations can deeply set in and all I can think about is running away from the thoughts that are bothering me, but there eventually comes a reality that I need to be more proactive at working on reframing those thoughts into the reality of what is going on with the situation at hand and realize the positives in life.

As neurodiverse folks, we have the tendency to allow ourselves to be stuck on thoughts, phrases, scripts, etc. that may not even be valid or true, They in turn can become of a looping nature and if there is no initiative taken towards working those thoughts in a better way such as reframing them into a better train of thought, the negativity can become further compounded, thus making the mental state worse and as such it can override anything else that is going to happen in the present or near future, even if it is better than the thought that is being thought of at that very moment because the only thing that the person wants to happen is letting it escape their mindset and not being a part of their life anymore.

As for me, having very intrusive thoughts over the past few years has been challenging and as such I have allowed myself to let them emulsify more than they should they have. They have never got to the point where I have had to reach out to a crisis hotline or anything similar, maybe because I do realize that in the grand scheme of things that is not useful and the only thing that will indeed make it better is allowing myself to work at diverting those thoughts away from where they need to be and allow myself to entertain better things that allow my train of thought to get in a better mind.

 Yes, reaching out to supports is something that can be done, but when they are going to prompt you do to things that they have taught you time and time again and you yourself do not do what is needed to make the thought process change to a more positive mindset, then there is only yourself to blame. There is a reality that I know that I need to do the work and even though it can be hard to do the work that I know that I need to do, I know that in the end I will feel much better about myself and I will be able to move forward with my life and myself and those around me will be much happier.

In the end, I am finally ready to be more proactive rather than reactive when it comes to battling those negative, intrusive thoughts, because like it or not they are still going to exist, thus I must work better at being able to reframe them into better thoughts that make me feel better and proud of myself!