It can be hard for an autistic person to let go of the things that do not even have value to them anymore. It is like something that can be deeply held on to as if it the thing that makes or breaks how something is taken upon for a day even if nothing can be done about it at the current moment, it wants to be lodged deep in the brain and can be expressed as a script or other form of echolalia because of some sense of regret.

Even though I know that there is no value of bringing up things that don’t matter anymore, there is also a part of me that even though I have had to move on to what is considered a new “era” of how things are done, it can be hard to allow myself to grow with the new way of doing things even if they are indeed a better way of doing things. I want to point out the flaws of the things that are wrong with it or seem unfair to me even if they do not seem unfair to others, they instead seem like a benefit or a better alternative to them and even myself, even if I cannot ever see myself doing things that I couldn’t imagine were possible.

It is not that I can see that there making changes to better ways of doing things are more beneficial, but it can be hard to understand that things can be done differently as they have been done in the past and that I cannot let go of the way that things were because there were times that I wanted to do those things and that I was unable to.

Even though there were many negative things that happened in the past that transpire and it would be good to let the past go because it is indeed a new era and I need to allow myself to move on, there are parts that just can’t let go because I have felt emotionally hurt and those thoughts play over and over in my head as if I had been the moment that had made that change happen, even if it was for the better.

There are benefits and even challenges to making any change but overall there have been no problems, but there is a part of me that wants to place the blame on those that made the change even though it was good and there was no other possible way that things could have continued to be the way that they were, even if I could have thought of scenarios of ways they could have worked, that is simply not my place to do and to is something that I know that need to void my mind of because that is not beneficial either to my mind.

In my honest mind, I know that it is beneficial to let go of things that are no longer valid or that I cannot change, even if there is deep resentment or doubt that it could happen, there must be a willingness to be able to move forward with my life as it is and realize that life is so much better without things being the way that things were and that this is indeed a new era.