There are times when it is hard to push myself through challenging times when negative-self talk wants to overrule my brain and make me think that I am not deserving of the things that I am blessed to do or have in my life. But eventually, I push through and do what I need to do every day no matter what. I just wish it were easier to get back on track.

There are many things in my life that I am blessed to be able to do and have in my life. Yet, there are times when I begin to think and talk negatively about myself as if I do not have those wonderful things in my life or that I am deserving of them even though some of those things are lucky for me to have. It can be hard to see that there are many positive things in my life and that I need to work at focusing my energy on them rather than the things I did not have or do or things that are simply not true, rather I think things that are just not true in my head to bring my own self down because there can be a part of me that wants to feel sorry for itself even though I know that it is not healthy for me to feel that way.

Even though I have the many things in life that I have, having autism and other challenges does not always make it as easy as it comes to the neurotypical population. I have rarely used it as an excuse and know that I must continue to push through those moments that I experience bouts of negative self-talk and doubt as whether I am worthy of the things that I have because I know that there are many with the challenges or similar challenges that want these things and cannot have them. They look up to me as an inspiration that I have been able to conquer the challenges that I have faced earlier in life, including the fears of doing what I had to do to get to where I am today. I know it has not been easy, and life is ever-changing, but it is ever important to keep pressing on no matter what.

I know that everyone has moments that they think those moments of negative self-talk. But when you have a neurodiverse brain such as mine, it can seem as if it is the only thing that is wrong with me and that there is nothing that can be done but just feeling sorry for myself and thinking that what I am thinking is true, even though it is rarely true. It is taking that initial push and getting back on track no matter how hard it may seem; I know that I need to push myself because in the end I will feel better about myself.

I have come too far in my life to start to let go of the things that I have worked so hard to earn and accomplish. I cannot start to let the negative self-talk overcome the good things in my life that are the best things that have happened to me, because that would be showing the world that has long believed in me that I have caved in to the negative side and have settled in for what I know is not true and become less than what I know that I am capable of. Autism is never easy and at times it can get you down, but I know that I am stronger than what I allow myself to think sometimes if I allow myself the chance to grow.