Last week, I had the opportunity to attend an Out of The Darkness walk for suicide prevention held at the local satellite college campus here in our county. It was chaired by the mental health counselor of that campus who is a colleague of mine that is on an advisory committee that I sit on. I had doubt about going because yet again my anxiety was wreaking havoc on wanting me to do something that pushed me a bit, but in the end, I was glad that I went and put forth my energy to a great cause.

I had planned to go weeks prior because the chairperson had invited our day service to attend. Even though I had arranged my schedule last week to go to the event, I did not even want to leave the house that morning because I was in a deep slump of not wanting to do anything that did not make me feel comfortable, but eventually there was a part of me that knew that I had to go and do it.

Getting there, registering, and perusing the resource tables made me feel comfortable and in my place. Even being told by the chairperson that they were glad that I had made it was something that had made me feel so comfortable and at ease. In preparation for the walk to commence, we heard and saw many affirmations of hope of why to keep going, which sort of cheered me up greatly and gave me some hope of keeping the spirit, but the thing that took me back was the story of the mother and sibling of the survivor of someone who died by suicide and how hurt that they were because of their loved one’s sudden passing. It had made me realize that there is an importance of being sure to keep my mental health in check and to reach out if I am struggling as there should be no shame in asking for help, because there are so many people that have not only helped me along the way, but there are so many people who want the best for me, no matter what.

There are many times that I was often to make dark remarks about myself not being here anymore, but I now realize that can hurt those that love and care for me deeply and that there are people who love and care for me deeply. Yes, there are times when it is rough for me and oftentimes, I feel like my struggles are small in comparison to others, but that is when I apply my affirmations and coping skills and put them to use because there are so many reasons to keep this journey going.

Some of the sweatshirts that I seen that others had on the walk had the words “Dear person behind me., The world is better with you in it…Sincerely, the person in front of you.” That hit my heart deep because I know that the world is so much better with me in it and that I must keep going and work to better myself each day. It can be hard sometimes and when it is rough, that means that I must reach out for support when I need it, no matter how hard it is, I know that is what many would want me to do and is the best thing for me to do. I am so loved and so is anyone who is reading this, just remember that!