It can often be hard to get in the spirit of doing what I need to do. There are unsurmountable challenges that surround my mind and all I often want to do is get away from what I need to do and just hide and find my own source of useless entertainment, after which I get frustrated with all the time that I waste not doing things that need to be done or things that are helpful for me.

There are times when I allow myself to get into a slump where I become depressed. That is part of the challenges that I experience in my life and medication alone cannot fix it. It takes me to do what is needed to make sure that I am moving forward with what I need to do. It does frustrate me when things that I need to do not fall according to plan and are delayed into the next day or beyond. I know that it is my fault and that I am not doing what I need to do to keep things up to par. Yet, it is my mental health that keeps me from doing tasks that come easy to many because I struggle with transitioning from one thing to the next.

Yet, once I get moving, I start to feel good about myself. Sometimes it is hard to keep the momentum going when I am tired even though I get enough sleep, if I oversleep, it can be hard to work to stay out of the bed and work towards getting things done or being on my toes being alert. There is so much that I am capable of, yet it can be hard to move from one thing to another because there is so much comfort in doing the task at hand, even if it is unhealthy for me and I know that I could be doing better things, just making that move can be so hard for me.

There is so much more  in life that I know that I can do, yet between my anxiety and my difficulties in transitioning from one thing to the next, I hold myself back from doing what I know I have the ability to do because I do not want to set myself up for failure because I cannot be totally focused on the things that I know that I can focus on cannot remain a focus because it is hard to keep that focus on more things that I need to do.

I know that I need to do better at not falling into the dark deep moments that I fall into because they are not healthy for me and there is so much more that I could be doing that is healthy for me both mentally and physically. I will get there within time if I can work at focusing on what I need to and not allowing myself to get intertwined into the negative things that I allow at times to enter my life. I am so worth more than I allow myself to be, yet my mind and my anxiety often holds me back from doing things that could allow me to be more forthcoming with things and be the person that I really want to be.

It is getting into the spirit and allowing me to get into he groove that I need to get in and start to find the why I do things and work at finding my own kind of happiness that I greatly deserve, despite what my brain or anxiety tells me, I am so worth everything I allow myself to  think about doing that is  in a good spirit.