Over the past few years, I have been combatting loneliness and isolation quite often. Me being autistic, it can be complexing and challenging because it can feel like we are often different from the neurotypical population and find ways out of it that is easier for them to do compared to an autistic adult such as myself.

As much as there is a desire for me to get out of the world, anxiety stops me many times at my front door because I think about everything that could go wrong in my travels. How someone may not accept me for who I am or the fact that I do not enjoy things in the way that others enjoy them.

Fighting loneliness and isolation has been a goal for me over the past few weeks to try to combat. One of the things that I am working on finding entertainment in is watching TV. I do not have cable TV, instead, I watch YouTube or other things and that has been a challenge for me because there is so much to see that it can be hard to take the time and enjoy that one thing. And I mean enjoy it, so I am not anxious or suspenseful about the ending.

I will admit that I am a unique person. But that does not mean that I long for things that everyone else on the planet wants and desires. I want that friend that is not going to be all about taking things to the next level or that it does not have to be related to things where touch or contact is involved. I also do not do well in environments where there is a great deal of noise pollution and not being able to drive on my own can be equally challenging.

Through my journey of self-discovery over the past six months, I realized that I where I needed to fall as far as my identity on the rainbow needed to be, and I do appreciate that my mental health is a lot better than it was, yet there is a long way to go as far as making connections especially that the field is narrowed further, but at least I have accepted myself for where I fall on both spectrums.

Just feeling better along the way of self-discovery does not mean that all your work is done. It means that I must keep up with things that are always changing and keep my mental health in balance and do the best that I can. I long for things that I must understand that I am not ready for yet, but I will take the time to understand and grasp where I need to be as far as life gives me the hand that I am dealt.

The main thing is that I love myself for who I am, and it is no different than who I was five years ago except for affirming and accepting the things that I have known for an exceptionally long time. I am learning and growing to be a much better person than I was back then. I am going places that I never even dreamed of!