It can be hard to understand why and how autistic meltdowns happen. I can’t believe nearing the close of my fourth decade of life that meltdowns are still possible in autistic adults my age, but it happens. One of the biggest things that must be understood is not reacting back towards the individual having a meltdown or believing everything that they are saying during a meltdown.

While the reaction stage is the brunt of a meltdown, I personally call it the reacting stage because it is where I am doing just that, I am reacting to stimuli or pressure within. It can be very hard to calm down when other people react back to me in engaging responses that is figuratively like pouring gasoline into the fire and watching it emulsify larger and larger. As much as someone else wants to come back with our negative jabs at them, in the mind of the autistic person, they have likely been letting things brew for a very long time (as I have done) and the only thing that we want to do is allow that to erupt like a volcano.

I and I know that many autistic people may also say things that we are not really thinking about at that moment. These things can be hurtful and jabbing in nature. You cannot really blame the person that is thinking about these things that have been in their minds for some time. They also may only think about wanting out of a situation because they can at that moment be so ashamed of themselves or not be able to see what the future may hold or that in that moment you as an autistic individual is not themselves because they could be overstimulated or have other factors that resulted them to get to the point of the meltdown.

Of all things I have learned that there needs to be time for the autistic adult to regroup after a meltdown. Once they recollect the experience, there will be a deep sense of regret, but they need to pull themselves together and rehydrate and relax before having contact with others that may have been involved before or during the meltdown. There is a great sense of shame, and they cannot see themselves returning to what they before felt like was a safe place for them. As the meltdown experienced was strenuous to many, there is a necessity to regroup, to some extent up to an hour after the meltdown is over.

It is important to be there for an autistic person when they are at the brunt of a meltdown, but it is equally as important to not add intensify it by reacting towards what they are expressing, nor believing or taking action towards what they want because they are likely not thinking clearly. All they want is for the issue that has caused the meltdown to be gone from their arena. It is important to give a chance to settle and everyone to regroup before taking further action about the next steps to ensure that all needs are met, and the probability of the meltdown cannot be rekindled or intensified. If things need to be completed, it is best to do so when all parties involved are calm, cool and collected.