Over the course of the past few years, acceptance has been an arduous work to adhere to. It can be hard to accept things for what they are even if they are things that you do not want to accept, even if it causes things that you do not want to accept, it is there are things that you just need to accept for.

Until I moved out of my parents’ house the first time, things went quite well. I conformed to things as much as possible and I was quite well. But there were other things that I knew that I did not like about myself living there. So, when I left there and things started to happen, of which there were things that made me euphoric in nature and that I really enjoyed, they were things that I was resistant to having to do, things that I needed to do to be well.

It took so long to find a compromise in the things that I wanted to have in my life that did find me joy, acceptance and love in my life but where I needed to be able to live life in the way that I needed to because of the things that were crucial  in my life and were known needed to happen, such as taking my medicine, going to sleep and other things.

It has been hard to accept many things like the side effects of my medications that can have results or consequences that I may not agree with, but there is a reality that when those things were happening, they were not what was healthy or appropriate for me and they made me someone who I was not.

There had to be a real reality check with myself for me to understand what is important in my life and that there are necessities that must be done and not having medication or being as sporadically as I was only made things overall more challenging than any benefit not taking them would provide me.

It is understandable that I need to do more things to counteract some of the side effects, like weight gain by being more active, eating a limited calorie budget and doing other things I can do from a more physical health standpoint. It will happen within time, and I need to be more patient with myself for it to become a reality down the road. It can be hard to do these things when you do not seem immediate results, but I know that I have to do it the right way or its not going to work.

Being able to accept things for what they are also means that have to work harder at keeping all aspects of my emotional well-being in check as well as following a routine when I am at home to make sure that I do not fall into a negative mindset that gets me off course with not adhering to my medication regimen as this is what begins the process of not being where I need to be.

In that course, I have understood the necessity of having to find what new habits and hobbies I need to have in my life and what that looks like for me. As I am working in the coming months to see what life looks like beyond the day services that I have been attending my entire adult life, I realize that I have to wok at being completely med adherent so I can do something in the community in the future to replace the time that I would otherwise spend at the day service.

But accepting things for what they are so much more than tangible things, it is also knowing and accepting parts or pieces of the things that you understood, accepted and liked about when I wasn’t my best, realizing what I had known for decades but accepting that there are things about it as a person with my challenges and needs that I do not like or cannot do, rather there are things that I do like and that feeling the way that I do about it is perfectly normal and acceptable.

All of these things are what has helped me find the acceptance of what is necessary in my life to survive and do the things that I need to do so I can be my best self and not be the person that I have been acting as the past five years, that I am still discovering who I am and that things take time to become a habit along with having a positive outlook on the future.