Being autistic, it can be hard to accept that we cannot have a say in or control everything in our lives. We often find comfort in the things that are rigidly in routine for us and when things do not go the way that are planned for us, it can set our day in a different trajectory that can be hard to bounce back from.

There have been days in the past when things have not necessarily been the way that I would have liked them to go. But yesterday was one of those days that it just did not seem to go the way that I felt was the easiest for me. There were many circumstances that were out of my control that did not provide me with the comfort and ease that I desired. It caused my anxiety to flare up greatly to the point that at times I did not feel that I had control of it. But throughout the day, I deployed some coping techniques to aid me in the process of getting back on track.

While it did not keep me in rhythm with the day and in fact it did set me off because there were things that I did not know the answer to or they were not things that I would expected that would happen, it can be easy to pass judgement or be angry at others for things that it has caused both directly and indirectly. However, it can be the fact that they cannot help what they need to have happen or that it was not even a result of their doing. Yet, my brain can resonate with a deep history of what other people may think of someone that has indirectly caused my distress or discomfort at that very moment.

In life, things happen that I cannot control and as hard as it can be at times to realize that, when things do not happen, it can make me very anxious to the point where I feel that I do not have control of the situation or that I am not going to be able to do the necessary things to be able to get through the day. It can also result in me having a negative mindset or being passive aggressive towards those that are close to me, even if it is not their fault. It is because my anxiety is telling me things that I think are true by holding judgment about things that even may have occurred in the past, it can be hard to let them go and just focus on what I need to do to be able to cope with the present moment.

There needs to be a sense of understanding within myself that there are times that things are not always going to go the ways that I do not expect them to go. In those times it is Important to remember that I need to calm myself down and be at peace with myself and only focus on controlling myself to not react negatively to others or pass judgment on them for things that even they themselves cannot control. Above all things, I need to just be kind to myself and continue to show myself grace about the things that I know that I can control and work to be the best person that I can be along with being a role model towards others to show them that I can control myself under stressful circumstances and be the better person.