After over half a decade of deceptively not doing the right thing to care for myself, there has certainly been enough signs that really need to start to head in the right direction towards making things better finally to end the cycle behind what is causing the negative behaviors to continue. Seeing the reality of having to open my eyes and begin to do the right thing has become more apparent than ever because I am realizing that I am having the prime opportunity to make things right finally.

The past five years have been nothing short of battles about caring for my mental health. Whether that has been in the form of taking medications, sleeping, or knowing when I need to rest, there have been many times when I had deflected against the orders of what I know is the right thing to do. Recently, I discovered through many processes and events that this must be the time that I get certain things right finally.

My bedtime medication has been a constant battle ever since I have been living independent. It is something that through one reason or another that I just have not seemed to grasp until later last week. It is realizing that my future as both living independent and having the employment, I desire requires me to follow all medications as prescribed as not doing so only sets up a cycle of not wanting to get back into rhythm. One of the major obstacles in doing this is the fact that I would want to lay in bed throughout the day without understanding the necessity of needing to be upright throughout the day. This is not a problem when I am out at day services or work, except when I come home.

Not understanding the necessity of needing to continue the pattern of taking ALL dosages of my medication throughout the day, each day will only set me up to not be my best. I had seen the total relapse of this during last summer when I took it upon myself to make some very destructive decisions towards that without following the advice of anyone, not even my loved one. I missed two months of work because of that, and it had many repercussions for me and the income I had. It also did not help that I was fiscally irresponsible and nearly fell through a month’s income in less than 72 hours. Thankfully, I had my family to help me get through the challenging times and it made me become more fiscally responsible along with utilizing my financial coach to get me more grounded.

Since that relapse there has been a considerable number of changes. Workplace move, transportation changes and so forth. There will be even more changes ahead this year that will require me to be more on point with my medication and being sure that I have adequate time to sleep. As things did work many times in a comparable way when I lived with my parents,

I now need to transfer those skills into my own life. That means that I need to be awake throughout the day and that things like sleep are a necessity. Sleep is one of those things that medication aids in me being able to have a sounder sleep. Sometimes we need to see that things are really beginning to take shape for the future and realize that nothing is a guarantee and therefore for a person such as myself, it is more than ever imperative that I am doing whatever is necessary for me to make sure that my mental health is on point.

Just as it was when it was when I lived with my parents Just because I am living on my own and I may very well have some of my own freedoms, there has to be a sense of reality that you just can’t abruptly stop things and do whatever you want to anymore as a way to defy what has been set for you because it may be a necessity for you to be able to navigate the world that is very often not built up to meeting your needs.  Therefore, it is imperative that I start to make things right before it becomes too late.