One common challenge that autistic people face is the fact that they struggle with conversing over the phone, especially when it is of a very important nature. Thankfully, through my life, I have mastered the skill of using the phone quite well.

It can be challenging for me to say that autistic individuals struggle with phone calls. For many times I did and there are still select times that I do. It is ironic that part of my employment involves “cold” calling people that consented to do a survey about their behavioral health services over the phone. Many times, this involves parents of those on the spectrum and if I am comfortable enough to disclose my diagnosis with them, it gives them some sort of hope that their journey will be OK.

But it hasn’t always been that way. It can still be hard for me to go on either a video or voice chat call with a friend online, even if we know each other and the friendship has been deep. Anxiety is a constant player in concert with my diagnosis and the fact of saying the wrong thing or being unable to get a “read” of someone will send me into a spiral of fear that I was the one that caused strife. This is even if it is people that I have interacted from time to time in person but being fearful of overstepping my bounds and not being able to judge if I overstepped my boundaries makes me second guess the situation and at times, I will blow it out of proportion and will do anything to avoid future interaction until I know that it has blown over.

Likewise, twenty years ago when I was being determined as whether I was disabled so I could get disability benefits as I became an adult, the one time I answered the phone, the interviewer called and simply because I was able to have a basic conversation with them over the phone I was automatically denied. However, I appealed against it at the next level, with no representation and they knew that I was unable to work full time. It is one of those blessings that you just had to be there to understand.

I would certainly hope in the two decades since that interaction that there was more education that autism or Asperger’s as it is a diagnosis that is more than something you can judge in a phone call or in a blood test (yes, I was also asked that when reapplying for disability benefits.)

Similarly, when there is bouts of information that is harder to understand because they are throwing all this information and you are trying to explain to the person on the other end your reasons why something should be the way it is and they react and yet when you have the courage to disclose your disability and they don’t understand how you are struggling to understand what they are trying to communicate to you because you are a delayed processor and need time to process everything they are throwing at you, yet they expect you to calm down, but they don’t understand why its so difficult for you and don’t understand why autism plays in to it.

Likewise, if there are other methods available to do things other than a phone call, especially when it is something that is a struggle for you to get your point across and not be overloaded by the information that is being provided to you at the other end, then exercise your right to use those other methods, especially written communication. The fact for me is that autism is a disability (and I don’t use that as a crutch), but the fact that I need alternative methods of communication in order to communicate effectively, including written communication or even a virtual call in order to address what I need to in order to see the person and they can see me so the entire situation is made abundantly clear to them and they can see what it all involves and thy can see all my needs and concerns out in the open. There is no shame In asking for help when you need it and that includes when you struggle with phone calls.