There are times when you just must do what is right and see how the right choice plays out to see whether you can discount it before you knock it down before you go down the other side, which is not so good. Last night, I learned that if I can make the right decisions, I can do it and it is not really that bad.

It is understood that I have not made the right decisions regarding my medication for some time out of me just by being honest and doing the right thing. I have been getting better the last few days, yet the sleep has needed to be caught up. In combination with having a new schedule yesterday, and not getting enough sleep the night before, it caught up with me and as such, I did fall asleep in the evening.

Upon waking up for the final medication alarm for the night. I had to decide as to whether to take the medication. I knew that I did not have to get up this morning, yet there was the usual angry self that is angry about all the time wasted on sleep. Yet, I am beginning to see increasingly how I am without medication and how there is less in my system.

Within an hour later, I gave in and took it. I took it because I am tired of going back and forth with the battle that I keep fighting and worrying about being on edge when there is the possibility of things triggered. It is also realizing and accepting the fact that it is necessary for things other than sleep and the specific medication helps me in many other ways to keep my mood regulated and not to sedate or take other things away from me. I am beginning to realize that it is the right thing to do if I can do so. If I can and need to take time away from it to get some sleep, then I must do whatever is needed for me to continue down the right path.

I have missed so much of the world by not making the right choices as far as my medication has gone for an exceptionally long time and I know that taking my medication is crucial for so many reasons. Being able to see the actions when I make the right decision has allowed me to realize the importance of keeping on track more rather than getting off course.

It also means that for me that I must keep busy during the day whether I may want to. In the end I know that it is the best thing to do. It is not helpful when my mind looms with no ideas of what to do. I find it important to keep a list of things that I can do at my disposal and know of things that can be done on the spot to keep me busy constantly, so I do not fall into the trap of falling asleep for hours on end like I did last night.

There are times when I can fall into the trap, but it is important to wake up in a brief period and not several hours later like last night. I have run into these situations before and have seen the challenges and dangers that they have brought forth down the path and I know I do not want to experience them again.

If I continue to do what is right by being more rigorous and adamant about keeping active throughout the day, then things will continue to improve, including keeping adherent to my medication requirements and understanding the necessity of taking them on a regular basis. Yes, mistakes happen, but it is important to acknowledge them and get back on track at the nearest interval. By seeing the better choices, it has allowed me to realize that it will be OK and that it is my responsibility to follow through with what has been needed in life.