When we make mistakes, we must learn that we need to accept the consequences of our mistakes, whatever they may be. It can be hard and at times challenging to accept them for what they are, but they should be a lesson to not get back into that place and have the willingness to improve yourself increasingly every day.

It is no secret that for the past five years I have been battling with being adherent to one medication. When I am not on it, the feelings vary, and I am in survival mode. But, when I finally get back to taking it, it takes a lot out of me to get back to where I once was. In those moments where I do not want to become adherent, I do not see this and at times, it sets me back further and further and at times I even want to lie about my medication adherence.

There is no benefit to not taking my medication as it is prescribed and repeating the cycle again and again is doing nothing but getting me back to square one and not learning from my mistakes by working towards seeing if the medications are actually a problem or it is just me not doing what I need to do. It can be hard to accept and be honest about our struggles as human beings especially when we feel that we need to reach out for help because we feel a sense of shame that we did what we did.

Although it is commonly perceived that autistic people cannot lie, the fact of my medication adherence has been one of those things that I have lied greatly about because I know that I do not want to hear the hard truth from those that support or care about me that I need to do what I need to do. I could be brutally asked as to whether I am taking my medication and yet lie to your face because I do not want to hear the hard truth that I know that I need to hear.

But in the same vein, I know that I am continuing to do the harm by not being adherent with my medication and just skipping one dose will set me back to that nasty cycle of wanting to be non-adherent with the select medication even after knowing time and time again that there is nothing but benefits for me. I make excuses that I will miss out on things or not be able to do the things that I need to do because I have missed a dosage window and will instead go without it and will not get back on track until I feel the next convenience arises where I feel I have enough time that I can get back on track.

But, when I do, sometimes it takes more time than expected and then I am angry with myself that it voided me the time that I could have felt that could have been better used, but as part of the mistakes of whatever timeframe I was not med adherent, it cost me that and I know that I need to accept that for what it is. It also needs to be a part of the routine that if I do miss the dosing window in the first place, I need to miss the next day’s opportunity if I can and produce an immediate remediation plan to get me bac on track than the current method.

This has been a battle that I have been battling for five years and I need to get serious about the need to be better adherent to things that I previously have been. I will never improve unless I take my own initiative neatwork on things to rectify the situation in a better speed than what I am doing now. It is time that I just need to be more serious and accept the consequences sooner than later then they will not be as bad as they are if I keep delaying the matter until it becomes more recognizable. It is something that I owe to all of those around me along with those that care and support me in my journey.