One of the biggest struggles I have been faced with as an autistic adult that lives independently is the determination of when it is time to go to bed. Realizing that I sometimes must and like to start my day early in the morning has had me finally conclude that I need to go to bed at an early hour in the evening to be able to have enough sleep to be able to function the next day.

Having an early bedtime is something that I have struggled with greatly over the course of the past five years of living independently. The common denominator lies within living with my parents because I was often reinforced by them to take me before bed medication at a certain time each evening, which would in turn cause me to want to sleep early. I had seen this as a form of punishment for keeping me from living the life that I wanted to live, at times not taking my medication or even living with them.

But, living with them had caused me to sleep excessively, primarily because it was a very challenging relationship with the family dynamics that I constantly had to battle that was through no fault of my own. It had to take time for me to accept that there were things within that that I could never change and that I needed to be able to accept them for what they are. Being able to live on my own helps me be able to live the life that I want better and realize that I fit in a much better environment than where I once was.

I had a challenging relationship with my medication until a week ago when I was finally able to “get it” that by the medication not only being able to help my brain wind down but it helps keep many of the things that aid me in being able to function in the world at bay and not become a distraction to others and cause concern. I now realize that it is important to take all my medications exactly as prescribed to help me in a world that is not made for me.

Seeing parts of my relationship from many people allows me to see that medication is crucial everyday in my life and that if I am tired, I just need to take my medication and go to sleep. If I want or need to get up to get things done, then I will and I will be able to function better because I was not only able to get a decent night’s sleep, but also be able to function better in social situations.

Sometimes it takes realizing that there are things that make you realize that you just need to get life under control and things happen in a way that work out for themselves so you can take to the time to get back on track and understand that things such as medications are necessary to be followed as prescribed each day no matter what. Now, if they are causing issues, then it is important to look into documentation of what is happening like for me, it was tracking excessive sleepiness and fatigue, but in reality I learned that It is important to keep busy throughout the day until the absolute point of when I am tired and then need to go to bed because I have to be up and ready along with having things ready for the next day. Journaling these functions has helped me to some degree realize why it is important to take my medication and keep engaging with things to do each day.

In reality, I should have really never experienced what I did , but now that I know what I needed to know, I know I can never go back to the ways of old and work at bettering myself and caring for my mental health by working on what Is needed in order to live my life as successful as it presently is.