As I am realizing the need to become more stabilized and understand what is needed to be well, I am also understanding and accepting that the routines that need to be in place while not 100% enjoyable are a must for me to be well.

I am learning now more than ever that my overall wellness must be a top priority and must be at the forefront of my personal care. For far too long I have neglected my need to care for myself over my personal preferences for wanting to do what I want or thinking that some things are childish in nature. Instead, it is part of adulting that I must understand and accept the need to adhere to a necessary routine that must have me out the door at a certain point in time yet having time to do the things before I go that I want to do.

It is a reality that has been hard to accept over the past few years that if I want to start my day early to get the necessary sleep I must go to bed early. This is where childhood and even some adult feelings when living with my parents kick in and had made me feel for a long time like a child unable to control the way that I wanted to live and not the way that I still personally felt that others were controlling me, but they were not.

This also strained my relationship with one of my medications that aids me in getting to sleep that I had felt for the longest time was being used to silence me or put me to sleep. While it does help me get to sleep and stay asleep, through time, I have learned that it does so much more than just aid in sleep, it brings the unpleasant things that come with my being autistic to a more manageable level and makes me more able to navigate the day ahead. In essence, by not taking the medication, it is hurting me, rather than helping me when I do take it, which I hopefully am now understanding that the latter is the better option in the end.

With having a new routine in place is understanding that it can be helpful to have a better understanding of what is a routine and how necessary it is especially during the winter weather we have been experiencing here in Southwestern Pennsylvania the past few weeks where I have been home for an extended period of time and realizing that it is important to always be sure to get the necessary sleep and follow the necessary routine when it comes to caring for myself in the forms of having a daily routine like showering, eating and cleaning up my home and so forth, along with medicating at the normal intervals.

Yes, autistic people such as myself can be very adherent to routines, but for me who has been living independently for some time with not being my best and starting to finally be my best now realizes and accepts the necessity of having a daily routine in place to function on a day-to-day schedule. Yes, there can be variations to the schedule but having a base of how to start and end the day is what is essential in ensuring that the day overall is the best that it can be.