It’s hard to believe what has happened and how much I have progressed in the past five months since my breakdown and relapse. From hitting rock bottom to learning and accepting the necessary things while enduring some necessary changes for more independence, I am starting to believe that I am seeing the fruits of my labor start to pay off.

Ever since I ventured to living independently, I haven’t really grounded myself in mental health by not following my medication regimens and not doing anything that has been essential for my mental health. It has taken me from believing that I thought on my own what has been best for me without recognizing that I needed to do what was needed all the time. It showed me the importance of my immediate family as well as the many people who care for me and saw the warning signs when I broke down.

Rebuilding myself has taken very much of the past five months since getting back on track to get settled. I had to understand what is necessary for me and being open and honest about my struggles along with what I am doing to keep my treatment team and support system in the loop. I made me realize that it is essential do things exactly as prescribed and follow along with other things that are necessary for well-being.

All of this was happening while there have been major changes in many things including my workplace and the way that I get to and from there and day services. This has resulted in me needing to be more independent and responsible, meaning that taking care of my mental wellbeing is more essential now than ever. It had ultimately resulted in me understanding and accepting that I am a better person overall when I am caring for myself in the right ways and working to being more independent and have more of a future than I ever dared to dream.

One of the greatest things that I have experienced in this process is the fact that my treatment team and support system is extremely pleased with how I am processing everything while getting back on track from where I was nearly five months ago. I know that it has been the fact that I have been what has been necessary for me to be well and let go of past habits over the past five years that were unhealthy and were just not me. While there are some pieces of my life that I have made peace with, there are just some things that I have admitted that were never a part of me and were brought on by the fact that I wasn’t taking care of myself and that myself as an autistic person had to close the door with that in 2023 and not carry it into he new year.

Moving forward in 2024, I am seeing when I do what is necessary for my well-being that better opportunities arise and that I can do so much more. Being in those old unhealthy habits wasn’t benefiting me or anyone else for that matter. Now realizing such, I can put the things I got to experience to rest and see why I was truly put here on earth and who I really am. That more opportunity will continue to come if I allow myself to learn and grow from the experiences of the past five years and remember that the way that things are now are much better than they ever have been.