Today marks one month since my transition from my day service providing for my transportation needs to having to utilize our county’s paratransit system. Most of it has been successful, but it has taught me that I just need to sit back, enjoy the ride and “stay in my own lane.”

There is a part of me that likes everything to go according to the way that I feel comfortable. This trait is very common in many autistic individuals. However, being in this current situation has taught me that I need to be patient and let the driver do the driving in the way that they know. They have a 2-way radio and a GPS as well as a cell phone along with a tablet that gives them an order of their stops should they need assistance in any way.

Part of life is having anxiety and wanting to make sure things are done in the way that I think that they should be done. But I must remember that I am a passenger and at that point it is essential for me to mind myself and speak up when necessary. It can be a hard skill to focus on my own needs and be patient when I need to go to my destination.  Worrying about whether I will get to where I need to go and get there is a constant worry within me. It may come from many years ago when I was in school or day service of being in a harder to find location at a time when GPS wasn’t a thing. There was a lot of worry and if waiting was involved, it would produce heightened anxiety to the point of near meltdown.

Nowadays there are things to aid in keeping me calm in the process of these things happening. Having headphones and music is one of the most important coping strategies that I can deploy along with having my cell phone readily available to aid in calming me down. Somedays the ride can be extra challenging for me due to the number of passengers, stops, or the roads that we must travel. It can be hard to voice what I think that I must be done, but I must remember that I do not know all that is involved in the process, and I must again be patient in the process.

Staying in my own lane can also be a very useful tool when it comes to building boundaries around the situations in which you have the availability to avoid or may be challenging for me. There are times when I do not want to be involved in things that I don’t have the energy or desire to be involved in, which don’t require my participation. It can be hard to build boundaries around the things that are currently happening that others may want to draw me into, but when it isn’t healthy for me to do so, then I must learn to have the proper defense mechanism to work at avoiding situations that are unhealthy for me.

Sometimes it is important to advocate for what I need to have, but that is only if I feel that something is not right and there has to be a point that I know when that is and how to properly voice my concern and make it easier for me to navigate the challenges that may come with it. It is important to understand when something doesn’t seem right or “off”. Then at that point, it is essential to learn how to properly advocate for myself when I am safely able to do so.

There has to be a fine line in understanding when something is necessary or when it is convenient for you. There are times when you cannot get everything that you want or that things are going to be easy for you. There are times when you are going to be further challenged by situations outside of your locus of control. There are times when you are going to be frustrated more than others and want to throw in the towel, but if it is just on occasion that these things happen, remember to be patient with yourself and give yourself the grace that you deserve because it is likely that there are worse things that you have experienced in the grand scheme of things that makes this so minimal in nature.