One of the key skills that is needed when starting to transition into adulthood as a person that has challenges being independent is the skill of self-discipline. This for me has been a struggle for many years and at times can result in heated discussions with those that care and support me in my journey.

As family and supporters of individuals that may be cognitive or developmental challenges, their care and support is one that can be deeply rooted in what they want for the one they support and love and as such they would like to control everything that the individual does. There can be a hard line in where one must stop being overprotective and have them learn for themselves the consequences of their actions.

From the eyes of a person that experiences such challenges and has such a deep relationship with my immediate family, there are times when I both could see their concern but at many times be ignorant of their concern. Unfortunately, there have been times when not being cognizant of their advice has turned out to be very consequential and as a result has set me back. There was also this alpha-like style where I didn’t want to believe that I was not doing what was healthy or what they knew was important for me to live independently.

Living through most of my time as an independent adult not listening to the orders or the advice, I was given did not allow me to root myself in my own self-discipline. The need to sleep, adhere to a medication regimen, and follow many other protocols that are in my best interest and wellbeing. As a result, there were some instances where things could have been very dangerous and indeed very risky.

Part of this is learning how to function independently when others are not around to provide guidance and support. This can be in terms of how much food I am eating, understanding how unhealthy foods and drinks affect my body and nervous system along with how my behavior can be disturbing to those that I must interact with. These were all things that even as recently as the past few weeks did not take a seat back and realize how much they affected the functions of others and the livability of the climate that I function in.

Yes, even as we may think as individuals that are truly independent, we may not be able to see when we do things that we may think that those that love and support us may think are wrong for us. It is often the fact that they care about us and only want the best for ourselves even if we may not see it. Believe me, it has gotten to the point that I had to see that there were so many people in my life that care about me and want nothing but the best for me. They cheer and commend me at my best moments and when they see that something is not right, they do what they can to bring it to the attention of whoever they think can set me on the right path.

When this happens, it can feel like a sense of tattle telling or wanting to believe that they don’t like something that one does as being independent. However, it may very well be the fact that they are scared for the safety of the individual and what could happen should they continue to go down the path that they are on.

Now that I am more grounded, I am beginning to see that there was a rhyme and a reason why those things are taking place. I see the that the concern was genuine and they were only looking at my best interest because even though they had to tell me the stuff that I may not wanted to hear, it was behavior that was not in the best interests of myself and I had to learn in the best way possible that should I continue to go down that path that it could be consequential with the possibility of the situation not being able to be rectified.

It is nice to see that after all the years of hard turmoil and trivial situations that I did come out on the better side of things and am now doing better than I ever have. However, everyone that experiences challenges of my magnitude result in similar luck. It is through the great support system that I have that has guided me along the way with the chance to allow me to see that there are consequences to the actions when I do not practice self-discipline on my part as that is an essential skill when walking the road to independence.