Life is changing, complex and challenging. No matter how much we want things to run smoothly for us, there are powers, energies and situations beyond your control that are going to come in the way of doing so. Even if you can be flexible, there will be a point when you become frustrated and angry with things not necessarily being the way that you want to be.

It took me a long time to accept that I cannot control everything in my life and what I cannot control I cannot allow it to generate energy that can and likely will result in frustration and anger. It is important to understand these emotions and realize that there is no value at times at being verbally aggressive when expressing them because there is simply no value in doing so. I had to learn that I have to find easier ways to manage my frustration and anger with things that I could not control or no longer had values to me because they did not exist.

One of the biggest reasons of me having to channel my energy differently is because when I would get frustrated and angry, I knew that no mater how much I vented to those that I thought would support me, there was nothing that they could do for me to make the situation easier. I had to rectify my emotions and solve my dilemmas on my own. When I would generate too much energy, I became burnt out and would sleep excessively because it would be a looping thought and no matter what I wouldn’t work at doing, it just wouldn’t escape my brain because I would be fascinated with it in a very negative way.

I would sleep and not just for a short nap, but excessively and this would eventually result in my dosing of my medication being delayed or missed deliberately because I was further angry due to sleeping and not being able to put the time, I did have to the use that it was intended for. This would result in very negative and unwanted traits and behaviors mainly due to the result of me not adhering to my medication regimen.

There are times I get frustrated over the simplest of things and the cycle can start, however I do not want to destroy the progress that I have built up over the past few months and weeks even though my brain at that very moment may be thinking things that are totally different than what is actually happening or should be adhered to because it cannot see that things will eventually work themselves out and not become in a more dangerous manner that can make me very vulnerable to being triggered by things that I cannot control.

Being flexible and not allowing myself to not become angry and frustrated with things that are out of my control or that cannot happen has gotten easier as I have aged over the years. It is something that I know that I must be able to because the life cannot ebb and flow according to the way that we see fit. It also means that I had to find better ways to manage my anger and frustration with those and other ways that were more helpful for me and kept the peace of the world that supported me along the way and not cause additional stress among those that supported me but knew that things had to work themselves out on their own or where I have to learn to be more flexible and less rigid with the ways of the world and accept there are times when I will be frustrated or angry, however I must not let those feelings transpire negatively within myself or onto others so I can bounce back much better than I have done in the past. I must learn to live a better life than I have been living for some time.