Through the last few years of continuous upheaval and misconception, I am hopeful that I have finally understood the reality of why I need to do certain things in my life that help me function in society. I am hoping that I let go of the behaviors that I was doing the past few years with 2023 and start anew.

I must continue to understand that through all this, I have been living on borrowed time when I have not been adhering to my things that are necessary for me to be well. That even being the slightest bit off of it will only set me up for making things more challenging to get back on track and that there can no longer be any excuses for why I am protruding the behaviors that I am experiencing. There has to be a reality of understanding that I must do what is necessary in order to adhere to what I need to adhere to because it is to help me and not hurt me.

It has been proven to work for decades with no issues. But the moment over five years ago that I began to experiment and think that I know what I was doing, but no matter what I think that I have done, it has never proven to be good. I must also understand and accept that when I was doing this, I was not adhering to the promises that I had kept to others and I was living on borrowed time, thus could have had deeply consequential actions that I could have never rectified.

There is also the reality that I have kept myself within my own home and had not done many of the things that I had done in the past to keep myself entertained or engaged in my community because I had been focused on just surviving and not actually surviving. In the last few days that I have gotten myself back on track I realized that I am much better finally and that I just need to stop playing around with things that do not need to be messed around with. They are working and they are working quite well for me, at least for now.

There must be a reality for now that I must accept that to do the adult things in life that things like adhering to my wellness regimen is a necessity. Despite what I had believed about it not doing in the past, there must be a concrete understanding that it helps me and that I need to just get on track and stay on that way. Not because someone is telling me or ordering me, but because I know that it helps me and that it is a necessity to live life the way that I want to. Doing so prevents me from being in a higher level of care or being involved in a legal situation. Continuing to believe that there are positive effects of not adhering to something that has been proven to work will only continue to set me down the wrong path and lead me into disaster. Not seeing that will only make things worse in the end.

If I was to continue down that negative path, there would be that potential for that one time when things do not go according to plan that could cause things to get bad for me to the point that they could deliver repercussions that couldn’t be rectified. There must be an understanding that I must continue to hold up my word and be honest that I am doing what I say that I am doing because it needs to be done to function in society. Denying that sole factor will continue to paint a falsehood that is very unhealthy and disastrous.

I have done what has been necessary to get back on track once and for all and there must be an understanding that it is a necessary part of life and not something that someone is telling me because they have an agenda or wish for me. There must be a reality that I must understand within myself that I must do what is necessary because I understand the consequences if I do not do what is necessary for me and that I am much more of a joy to be around when I care for myself when I am my best.