Sometimes as the person who I am I can be seen as a person who has it all together. Like there is no reason that I don’t need the care that is given to me.  But beneath the surface there are things that many cannot see that when things are triggered there becomes the need for extra care or the delicate moments in my life.

Many times, the intelligence of an autistic person can be perceived for their intelligence and savvy before the issues beneath the surface that need attention. Some of these issues can cause the perception that autistic people are just bratty in nature and need extra attention because it is perceived that they must have things a certain way and there cannot be a change to the contrary.

It also takes us as autistic adults to have the courage to speak up and develop the trust that is needed for us to be able to use our voices to work on the things that we know are an issue in our life. When things are triggering or bothering us, there are parts that spill over and become part of the messy side of autism that those that are not aware of can think that we can control for some ironic reason.

Indeed, there are parts of life where we can control the things if we really want to. Sometimes as autistic adults we become comfortable when things are the way they are, and we often have a cushion of comfort for those that support us to speak up or be the advocate we perceive that we cannot be.  If we as autistic adults can communicate effectively and appropriately or are taught the skills required to accomplish something that our supporters know we can, then they have to let us do it.

However, there is this perception by those who may be unaware that there are good days and bad days that are we as autistic adults are experiencing, and it cannot be an accurate reflection on what may need addressing when there can and cannot be parts of autism that those providing treatment to us may not see that may be addressed.

As a colleague often has said, “labels are for jars, not people.”, there is not something that we wear around with the challenges that we have nor are they something that is always visible. Nor should we have to validate, prove or “out” ourselves to dignify what we may need. Anyone who has any disability should not have to prove themselves unless there are regulatory reasons to get the accommodations that we need.

If we despite the challenges that we face knowing that we cannot manage ourselves properly and need something that is openly dedicated for those with a disability, then we should be entitled to the things that are provided to us. It shouldn’t require us to have to literally climb obstacles that at times seem impossible just to get things that are not clearly stated for us to have our needs accommodated so we as a person despite our challenges can feel comfortable.

Just something is not seen visible by others may mean at that point in time that we may not need something to be addressed or know that we are experiencing something challenging, but there are moments where we may need the care and support and be able to know how to calm ourselves down or get back on track from what may be triggering for anyone autistic or may perceive their intelligence and not their maturity.

Human beings are human beings. We all have good days and bad days, but that doesn’t discount the fact that there are times in our lives when we require additional support in our lives to when we can function just fine in the world. So take time to learn from us what is going on beneath the surface before passing judgment about the things in our lives. Always presume competence before making judgements about what a person can or cannot do. But if we say that we need to have support, give us a chance to explain ourselves and understand how we are struggling and work with us to find a solution to help us.