It can be hard to believe that nearly three months ago I was totally not myself and that I have improved so much over the course of that time. Yet, it can still be hard to see that there are so many reasons to keep going and do what is necessary to function in life. That people look forward to you and care about you no matter what.

It goes without saying that eliminating caffeine from my dietary intake has been the best decision that I have ever made to better myself. It was hard to imagine in a conversation that I had yesterday that I was drinking six liters of Coca-Cola a day and although I went to a Diet-Caffeine Free version, there is still the addictive personality within me, and it is a continual fight to battle.

But it does not eliminate the realities of life by knowing that I must do things in a world that is not often compatible with my neurotype. Sometimes it is more stressful than others and there are things that trigger me. The importance of being able to manage those emotions and not bluntly take to them out on people who do not deserve to be lashed at is a very unhealthy behavior and is one of the things that I really want to eliminate from my life.

When I become angrily passionate about something, I react in a way that is very unhealthy and is not in a way that makes me proud of who I am. Part of that is that I want to be the one that is always right or wants an immediate result. Sometimes, there must be a reality that you have to accept things and cope with them in the best way possible so that you prevent yourself from reacting in a way that you will greatly regret in the long run. That is the way that comes with being autistic.

I do quite well at having a filter when it comes to things that irritate me, but getting angry at someone because you don’t like something going the way that it went is not proper and if you do react to something that can be so miniscule in nature, when you settle down and think about it, there will be a point that you will greatly regret the things that you said or did.

When you are a person such as me and have overcome so many obstacles and you react in a way that you do not want others to see, it hurts more than regretting the action you did yourself and is a more contributing factor that compounds your regret for acting the way that you did. Sometimes, it can be hard to control your anger because you are so frustrated and just want to react to someone to get your point across so you can bring others down in your misery. But it is often only a reflection of yourself and the way you handle things that in a normal situation have been taught the skills to manage properly.

Oftentimes, I want others to feel the pain that I am experiencing, but that is not always a solvable way to find a solution to your frustration. There are some things in this world that are just unable to be changed and as disappointed as you may be, you have to accept them for what they are. It can be frustrating to have to accept unpleasant things about a situation that you do not want to undergo, but there are necessary in life and as much as you want to be a hero and put it to an end, that is not always the best or most feasible situation.

It takes having a positive attitude and seeing things from the big picture and realizing in the grand scheme of things, doing the little things that are going on really mater in the long run. Is it worth worrying about things that cannot be changed at any part of the day. Sometimes it takes accepting things for what they are and learning to manage your feelings in better ways that are healthier than continuing to allow the feelings to continue to muster inside you, because eventually, they will spill over, and it will not be pretty. It is seeing things in the grand scheme of things and letting some things be what they are,