As we are in the homestretch of closing 2023, it can be easy to see the challenges, because indeed they were there. But there were also some good times too and I need to close out the year seeing that too. I am grateful for the simple things that are in life this year that have produced themselves out of the hard work of realizing that I needed to get my mental health together and start getting on the right path.

Having a mind that has been many times preached to see the flaws in situations, as sometimes traumatic as 2023 was, and believe me there were moments, but I never gave up because it gets you nowhere when you do that. Yes, I had to hear some hard words that made me realize the need to be an adult and praise my lucky stars that I did not get into any trouble when I was at my worst. It made me realize that I was on borrowed time, and I needed to make a change.

This past week I was in a continual rut of traumatic intrusive thoughts that were not healthy in many ways. I was reflecting with my mother on how much of a dumpster fire I perceived 2023 to be and she did point out that while there were many challenges in the year, there were indeed some good times too and I needed to focus more on them to get me through the tough times and see that life is not always gloom and doom.

While the pandemic itself ended, I did allow myself to return to many activities that I had not done in a long time like going to church and the amusement park, for example. Me making destructive decisions and not consulting a medical professional or even my parents about it, brought them closer to me and realized that even beyond family there are so many amazing people that care so much about my well-being.

There were many good things in 2023 and despite me not always being my best at times, they were good times, and I must look to them for the good times. Yes, there were things that I may have deeply regretted doing, but they were great learning experiences and they have made me a stronger person because of having to get serious about caring for myself and putting my mental health at the forefront of my well-being.

It’s not just 2023 that brings me happiness, it’s all the good times over the years that continue to bring me joy and happiness and get me through those moments when I think my life is falling apart. It is not, it’s the fact that I need to see things in a different way than I have for many years. I could continue to see all the flaws that 2023 has produced or work towards seeing that there were some good times in my life besides that can bring the good in the situations that I had experienced over the years.

I cannot let the challenges of 2023 surmount the good times that I did have in 2023. It is November 18, 2023, and I am in a much better place than I was nearly three months ago and so many people close to me know that. I have found my daily time with the Lord and seen that he too has been there for me even though I had come out of a long period of denial about that. There is so much to be grateful for in my life that there is essentially no reason to allow myself to let those intrusive thoughts that have been renting space in my head over the past week to stay, they need to go and let me continue to see that there is so much going on that is going to great for me. It takes getting to see the good times that were not only in 2023, but over the past two decades that made me have that contagious smile that my friends and family are used to seeing. I think that sometimes that is my way of making sure I am my best friend to myself, and others, and I have surrounded myself with more people of that caliber in my life. Here’s to the rest of 2023 that I make it the best possible close of the year that I can.